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What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation in Cincinnati, OH?

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:00:22 GMT

Summary

The next of kin typically provides legal authorization for burial or cremation.
Funeral homes often request identification, vital information, and signed authorization forms.
Documentation needs may vary by state and individual circumstances.
Funeral professionals help guide families through each step with care and clarity.

What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio often ask what is needed from the next of kin when planning burial or cremation . According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), funeral professionals typically rely on the legal next of kin to provide written authorization before arrangements can move forward.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) explains that authorization supports transparency under the Funeral Rule, helping families understand their rights and choices. Next of kin most often includes a spouse, adult child, parent, or legally appointed representative.

Identification and Essential Documentation

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highlights the importance of accurate information when preparing an official death certificate. Because of this, funeral homes often request the following from the next of kin:

A government-issued photo ID for the person authorizing arrangements.
Vital details about the deceased, including legal name, date of birth, parents’ names, and Social Security number.
Signed authorization forms for burial or cremation.
Information required to complete and file the death certificate.

Providing this information helps ensure arrangements follow legal guidelines while honoring the wishes of the family.

Why Authorization Matters

Authorization confirms that the individual making decisions has the legal right to do so. For burial, families may need to confirm cemetery property or permit information. For cremation, a signed Cremation Authorization Form is typically required, and some situations may involve a brief waiting period or additional review.

Funeral professionals at Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services support families throughout Cincinnati, Ohio, helping them feel informed and cared for during a difficult time.

FAQs

Who is considered the next of kin?

The next of kin is typically a spouse, adult child, parent, or legally appointed representative authorized to make final arrangements.

What documents are needed to start arrangements?

Most funeral homes request identification for the next of kin, vital information for the death certificate, and signatures on authorization forms for burial or cremation.

Do requirements differ by state?

Yes. Requirements may vary by state or situation, so families should consult their funeral home for guidance specific to their location.

Written for Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services , proudly serving families in Cincinnati, Ohio with compassion and care.

About Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services

Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services serves families in Cincinnati, Ohio with respectful funeral and cremation services. The funeral home is located at 4619 Delhi Ave., Cincinnati, OH 45238 , and families may call (513) 939-2273 for thoughtful guidance and assistance.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Why Do Funeral & Cremation Costs Vary in Cincinnati, Ohio?

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 13:00:37 GMT

Summary

• Funeral and cremation costs may vary based on location, facilities, staffing, and service options.

• Families in Cincinnati may notice pricing differences tied to personalization, professional care, and available amenities.

• Regulatory requirements and documentation often influence overall costs.

• The FTC’s Funeral Rule ensures transparent, itemized pricing so families can make informed decisions.

Why Do Funeral and Cremation Costs Vary?

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio, often ask why funeral and cremation costs can differ from one funeral home to another. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), variation is common nationwide because prices reflect local operating expenses, staffing needs, and the type of services selected. All referenced national guidance is accurate as of 2025.

Regional Costs and Overhead

Location plays an important role in pricing. Funeral homes serving metropolitan areas like Cincinnati may face higher facility, utility, and staffing costs than those in smaller communities. These overhead expenses can influence how services are priced and structured.

Even within the same city, costs may vary based on the size of the facility, hours of availability, and the resources required to maintain gathering spaces for visitations and ceremonies.

Facilities, Services, and Personalization

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to provide an itemized General Price List (GPL), allowing families to understand what services are included and which options are optional. Pricing differences may reflect whether a funeral home offers on-site cremation, chapels, reception areas, or other amenities.

Service choices also affect cost. A traditional funeral with visitation often involves more preparation, coordination, and staff time than direct cremation or a simple memorial. Personalization—such as music, printed materials, video tributes, or catering—may add to the overall cost depending on family preferences.

Professional Care, Coordination, and Transparency

According to the Cremation Association of North America (CANA), cremation arrangements may vary based on service level and provider resources. Transportation, care of the deceased, required documentation, and scheduling all involve professional expertise and time.

Many families find it helpful to request GPLs from multiple providers, ask questions, and consider preplanning. Planning ahead may help clarify wishes and reduce stress for loved ones.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do funeral homes charge different prices for similar services?

Pricing often reflects local operating costs, facility offerings, staffing levels, and the amount of personalization selected.

What is a General Price List (GPL)?

Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, funeral homes must provide a General Price List showing itemized prices for services and merchandise.

Can families compare prices before making arrangements?

Yes. Families may request a GPL, ask questions, and take time to compare options before deciding on services.

Written for Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in Cincinnati with compassion and care.

About Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services

Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services is located at 4619 Delhi Ave., Cincinnati, OH 45238 . Families may contact the funeral home at (513) 939-2273 for guidance and support.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

How Much Does Cremation Cost in Cincinnati, OH?

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 13:00:58 GMT

Summary

• Cremation costs vary based on the type of service selected and the level of care involved.

• National data shows direct cremation is often the most affordable option.

• Holding a funeral or memorial service with cremation can increase overall cost.

• Planning ahead helps families understand options and make informed decisions.

How Much Does Cremation Cost?

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio, often ask how much cremation costs and what factors influence pricing. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is approximately $6,280, while direct cremation typically ranges from $2,800 to $3,000. These figures are based on the 2024 General Price List Study and are accurate as of 2025.

Direct cremation generally includes the cremation itself, basic professional services, and required documentation, without a formal ceremony. When families choose to hold a memorial or funeral service with cremation, additional services and the use of facilities may affect the total cost.

Why Cremation Costs Vary

Cremation costs can vary depending on service options , merchandise selections, and location. Some families prefer a simple approach, while others choose services that reflect personal, cultural, or religious traditions.

Local considerations such as staffing, facilities, and regulatory requirements in the Cincinnati area may also influence pricing.

Helping Families Plan Ahead

Many families find peace of mind in planning cremation arrangements in advance. Preplanning allows individuals to explore options, document wishes, and reduce stress for loved ones.

Funeral professionals are available to guide families through available choices with transparency and care.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is cremation typically less expensive than burial?

Cremation is often less expensive because it typically does not involve cemetery property, burial vaults, or caskets. However, total costs depend on the services and options selected.

Can families still hold a service with cremation?

Yes. Families may choose to hold a memorial or celebration of life before or after cremation, depending on their preferences.

What does direct cremation usually include?

Direct cremation typically includes transportation, basic professional services, required documentation, and the cremation itself, without a formal service.

Written for Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in Cincinnati with compassion and care.

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio, can turn to Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services, located at 4619 Delhi Ave., Cincinnati, OH 45238 , or call (513) 939-2273 for caring and professional guidance.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

How Much Does a Funeral Cost in Cincinnati, OH?

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 13:00:55 GMT

Summary

• Funeral costs vary based on the type of service, level of personalization, and regional factors.
• According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with burial is $8,300.
• A funeral with cremation has a lower national median cost of $6,280.
• Planning ahead can help families make informed decisions and reduce stress.

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio, often ask how much a funeral may cost and what factors influence pricing. While every service is personal, national data provides a helpful starting point.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300. A funeral with cremation has a national median cost of about $6,280, based on the 2024 General Price List Study. These figures are accurate as of 2025.

Funeral costs often vary depending on the type of service selected, the use of facilities, and the level of personalization chosen. Services typically include professional care of the deceased, guidance from the funeral director and staff, coordination of arrangements, and transportation.

Some families may choose burial with a traditional viewing, while others may choose cremation followed by a memorial service. General merchandise selections, such as a casket or urn chosen to reflect a loved one’s preferences, may also influence the total cost.

Taking time to ask questions and plan ahead can help families better understand their options and make thoughtful decisions that align with their wishes.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is typically included in funeral costs?

Funeral costs often include professional services, care of the deceased, use of facilities, and transportation. Specific services vary based on the type of arrangement selected.

Are cemetery costs included in funeral pricing?

Cemetery-related expenses are typically separate from funeral home charges and are not included in the NFDA’s national averages.

Does planning ahead help manage funeral costs?

Yes. Planning ahead allows families to explore options, ask questions in advance, and make informed decisions that can help reduce uncertainty.

Written for Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in Cincinnati with compassion and care.

About Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services

Families in Cincinnati, Ohio, can turn to Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services for caring and professional guidance when planning funeral and cremation services. Located at 4619 Delhi Ave., Cincinnati, OH 45238 , their dedicated staff can be reached at (513) 939-2273 to answer questions and provide support.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Who Should Plan My Funeral?

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 16:27:35 GMT

Thinking about what will happen after we're gone isn't something we often want to face, but it's certainly a considerate and practical step to take—especially if you're concerned about who will handle your final arrangements. Whether we have children or not, many of us might wonder, "Who will take care of my funeral plans?" The good news is that planning your own funeral isn't just a possibility; it's a thoughtful gesture for the people you love.

Setting up these arrangements is neither difficult nor costly. You start by making a free appointment with a funeral home, where a professional will guide you through the pre-planning process. This is your opportunity to express your preferences for both the funeral and final disposition. It's a proactive way to ensure everything is arranged according to your wishes and can be a huge relief to know your plans are in good hands.

Additionally, considering the financial implications of your funeral arrangements is essential. Discussing options to prefund your plan can relieve your designated person of any financial burden. This planning ensures that everything is taken care of, allowing your loved ones to focus on celebrating your life without the stress of unforeseen expenses.

When a preplanned funeral is not in place, the decisions about your care and your funeral will fall to your next-of-kin. Each state has specific laws regarding who gets to make decisions about your body and your services after you pass away. This person is tasked with organizing and funding your funeral service and deciding your final disposition—be it burial, cremation, or donation.

For those choosing cremation, the decision doesn't end there. What to do with the cremated remains is another choice the responsible person will make. Options include keeping them with a family member, scattering them on private property, or placing them in a cemetery or columbarium niche.

In most cases, your spouse is the first in line to take responsibility. If you're not married, this role might fall to a parent, and if they're not available, possibly a child or an eldest sibling. However, this preset order can be altered if you have specific wishes or if your family's views on such matters differ from yours. Thankfully, it’s possible to designate anyone you trust to ensure your wishes are respected.

So, if you find yourself pondering, "Who will take care of my funeral?" remember that you have the power to answer this question. By planning ahead, you can ensure that your final farewell is carried out just as you wish, bringing peace of mind to both you and your loved ones. Take that first step today by reaching out to a funeral home and starting a conversation that, while difficult, can make all the difference.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

The Multifaceted Role of Funeral Directors: A Closer Look

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 16:22:48 GMT

Funeral directors, often seen as the custodians of the last rites, perform a multitude of tasks that go beyond merely organizing a funeral service. Their work is intricate, demanding both emotional fortitude and meticulous attention to detail, ensuring dignity in death and solace for the living.

After a Funeral: Ensuring Continuity and Care

Post-funeral, the responsibilities of funeral directors extend to meticulous preparations for subsequent services. This includes the thorough cleaning and organizing of the funeral home to welcome grieving families the following day. Their dedication is a testament to the respect and care they extend to both the deceased and their loved ones.

Bringing Loved Ones Home

A funeral director's role often involves more than just planning and conducting funeral services. They may travel considerable distances to retrieve the deceased, ensuring their safe and respectful return to their hometown. This task reflects the profound commitment of funeral directors to honor the dead and support their families during difficult times.

Vigilance in Times of Loss

Funeral directors are there during the community’s most trying times, even beyond office hours. Whether it's staying late to resolve technical issues for a memorial video tribute, correcting obituaries, or making logistical arrangements for upcoming services, they are tirelessly at work. Their duties might also include liaising with government agencies like Social Security and the Veterans Administration to notify them of a death, highlighting their role in facilitating necessary bureaucratic procedures.

Emergency Response and Dignity

In the face of tragedies, such as accidents, funeral directors are among the first responders, tasked with the delicate duty of preparing the deceased. Their work ensures that families can say their goodbyes with dignity, showcasing the profound human aspect of their profession.

Attention to Detail

Every aspect of a funeral service, from the timing of the celebrant's arrival to the selection of pallbearers, is meticulously planned by funeral directors. Their comprehensive review of service details underscores their commitment to providing a seamless and respectful farewell. Moreover, they proactively anticipate needs, such as weather considerations, to ensure everything proceeds smoothly.

Personal Touch in Professional Care

Perhaps the most poignant of their responsibilities is when the funeral director must organize services for someone within their personal circle. This intersection of professional duty and personal loss exemplifies the deep emotional layers of their work, illustrating that their commitment to caring for the deceased and their families often extends into their personal lives.

Ultimately, funeral directors are dedicated professionals whose work extends far beyond what is seen at a funeral service. They are caregivers, organizers, and empathetic listeners, providing support and dignity in death, ensuring that every aspect of the farewell is handled with respect and sensitivity. Their role is indispensable in helping families navigate the complexities of loss, underscoring their profound contribution to the fabric of our communities.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Understanding Funeral Costs: A Guide to Planning with Care

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 19:33:03 GMT

When the time comes to think about funeral arrangements, one of the first questions many of us have is, "How much will it cost?" It’s natural to look for a straightforward answer during such an emotionally charged time. However, much like finding the perfect car, the cost of a funeral varies widely depending on personal choices and specific needs.

Why There's No Simple Answer

Just as you wouldn’t expect a single price tag on all cars—since they come in various styles and brands and offer all different types of upgrades—funerals too can differ greatly. They can range from simple ceremonies to more elaborate services, each affecting the overall cost. This variation is why direct comparisons are tricky and why personalized guidance is invaluable.

How Funeral Costs Break Down

1. Service Fees: These are the basic fees charged by funeral homes for arranging the service. This fee typically includes planning, securing necessary permits, preparing notices, and helping with the coordination of the ceremonies.

2. Personalization Options: Just like choosing a car that fits your needs and preferences, funerals can be personalized to reflect the unique life of your loved one. Costs may include embalming, viewing, a casket, or additional services like a memorial video.

3. Venue and Transportation: Funeral homes provide beautiful spaces that are designed specifically for funerals. There is often plenty of parking and large rooms for families and friends to gather and honor their loved one. Depending on whether you choose a funeral home chapel, a religious venue, or an outdoor setting, costs can vary. Transport also adds to the total including the hearse and other vehicles.

4. Additional Costs: These might include flowers, obituaries in local newspapers, and any catering for the funeral service. Each choice reflects personal preferences and will influence the overall budget.

Making Informed Choices

It's helpful to meet with a funeral director who can outline all the options available, along with their costs. Funeral homes are required to provide a standardized price list, which ensures transparency and helps you make decisions without any pressure. This meeting should be free of charge and is the best step towards understanding the full scope of what a funeral could entail financially.

Tips for Planning

· Plan Ahead: Whenever possible, discuss and maybe even pre-plan funeral arrangements. This approach can alleviate the burden during a time of grief and ensures that choices are made thoughtfully.

· Compare Options: Feel free to visit different funeral homes and compare their services and prices. Each funeral home will offer a range of options suitable for various preferences and budgets.

· Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask for specifics about any costs or services you do not understand. A good funeral director will be patient and helpful, ensuring you feel comfortable with your choices.

While the question of cost is a significant one, remember that the value of a funeral lies in how well it reflects the life and wishes of your loved one. As with many things in life, families can expect to pay more for higher quality service, which is something to consider before choosing a funeral home based solely on cost.

Take your time to understand and choose options that best fit your family’s needs and budget, ensuring that the service you select is both meaningful and manageable financially.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

What Are the Other Options Available Other Than Ground Burial?

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 19:29:31 GMT

When deciding on a final resting place, one of the biggest questions is whether to choose burial or cremation. And for many people, when they decide on burial, they’re only familiar with the option of in-ground burial. If you choose to have your final resting place in a cemetery, it’s true that you can have a traditional, in-ground grave, but that’s not your only option.

What are the other options for burial in a cemetery?

When we talk about above-ground burials, we’re often referring to two options: community mausoleums and private mausoleums. Mausoleums are structures in a cemetery that are above ground where people are laid to rest in caskets placed in spaces called crypts. Crypts can hold one person, two people, or even entire families.

There are several benefits to choosing a mausoleum as your final resting place, particularly due to the lack of exposure to the elements. Unlike in the case of in-ground burial at a gravesite, being laid to rest in a mausoleum ensures that your burial site will not be impacted by exposure to the soil or inclement weather. This lack of exposure not only helps keep the burial site dry and clean, but it also means that when your loved ones come to see you, they don’t have to worry about the weather affecting their visit.

Community or public mausoleums are a type of mausoleum that’s designed to house people from multiple families. However, family or private mausoleums are dedicated to housing one particular family or individual. Family mausoleums afford families more privacy than a public mausoleum. When your loved ones come to visit you, they can also come to see their other loved ones and ancestors without having to share the space with other families.

These structures can be personalized to suit a particular family, and they can serve as an essential part of your family legacy. Whenever a family member passes, they will not have to question where they will spend their forever. They will spend it surrounded by the ones they loved in life and the people who share their family name.

It’s worth noting that cremation doesn’t preclude you from being laid to rest in a cemetery. If you choose cremation, you can still have either an in-ground or above-ground burial. Your cremains can be placed in an urn and then buried in a grave. They can also be placed in a columbarium.

Columbariums are similar to mausoleums in that they are above-ground structures in cemeteries that offer an alternative burial place. Like mausoleums, there are also private and public columbariums. In the case of a columbarium, however, you will be laid to rest in an urn in a space called a niche rather than in a crypt.

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What Are Burial Vaults and Grave Liners and Why Do I Have to Buy Them?

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 19:26:32 GMT

When saying goodbye to someone you love, you have a multitude of decisions to make. Some you might be prepared for, while other questions are new to you. One topic that many people are unfamiliar with is the concept of burial vaults and grave liners, which you may have to have in your loved one’s final resting place.

But what exactly do these terms mean? And do you need one?

What’s a burial vault?

A burial vault is a container that goes around the casket and is designed to protect the casket from outside elements. With its seal and inner lining, it helps keep the integrity of the casket, but it also prevents the ground from collapsing in where the casket is buried.

Burial vaults are often made from concrete, although they may sometimes be made from other materials, like metal or plastic. The lining inside the vault is also typically made from plastic, as plastic is non-porous and doesn’t allow water in and out.

What’s a grave liner?

Grave liners and burial vaults serve similar purposes and are sometimes erroneously used interchangeably, but they have a few significant differences. Grave liners, which are also typically concrete, also go around caskets. However, grave liners don’t have a seal or inner lining. They don’t protect the casket as much as burial vaults do, but they do fulfill the same duty of upholding the ground in a particular grave.

As concrete is porous, unlike the plastic lining in a burial vault, water and dirt can more easily enter the casket space, making the casket deteriorate faster than in a burial vault, though it’s worth noting that neither a burial vault nor a grave liner can completely prevent deterioration of the casket.

Do you need burial vaults or grave liners?

Only a few states require the use of an outer burial container. The cemetery you’re making plans with will be able to help you navigate what you’re legally required to do for burial.

But regardless of state law, many cemeteries do require the use of either a burial vault or grave liner, as these outer burial receptacles play a vital role in the upkeep of the cemetery. Both burial vaults and grave liners help keep the ground from collapsing in at a grave site. Without these containers, the ground can become uneven, creating safety hazards for visitors, compromising the integrity of the burial sites, and causing maintenance issues for the cemetery staff.

Before purchasing a grave liner or burial vault, be sure to speak with the cemetery staff regarding their requirements. They’ll be able to answer any questions about these containers and ensure that you choose the right one for your loved one’s final resting place.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Food and Funerals: The Comfort of Sharing a Meal

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 19:22:49 GMT

Why Food Plays a Crucial Role at Funerals

Food not only nourishes the body but also comforts the soul, making it a significant part of funeral traditions. Offering food signifies care and supports the healing journey during such tough times.

The Best Times to Offer Food

Wondering when to bring a meal to someone grieving? Anytime is thoughtful—before, immediately after, or even weeks into their grieving process can be right. What matters is your thoughtfulness and recognition of their needs during these hard times.

Making Your Offer of Help Just Right

It can be hard for someone in grief to recognize their own needs, including hunger. If you're thinking of helping out with a meal, keep it simple and considerate. You might say, "I'd love to drop off dinner for you tomorrow—how about a turkey roast and a broccoli casserole? I'll bring it by in the morning, ready to heat whenever you’re ready."

Receiving Food with Grace

It's okay to be honest if you're overwhelmed by food offers. A polite, "Thank you, we're set for now, but could we take a rain check?" shows appreciation while being practical.

Coordinate with Friends

If you’re part of a circle of friends, it might be a good idea to coordinate who brings meals when. This way, the bereaved family receives a variety of meals spread over the needed period without redundancy.

Don't Skip Breakfast

Breakfast items can be a delightful change. Consider a basket with granola, muffins, or a simple breakfast casserole to start their day gently.

Easy Meal Ideas

Sheet pan dinners are a breeze and make both cooking and cleanup easier. There are plenty of recipes online that require minimal prep but deliver comforting flavors.

Options for Non-Cooks

If cooking isn’t your thing, a gift card to a local restaurant known for takeout is a thoughtful alternative.

Staying Present Post-Funeral

It’s crucial to remain supportive even after the funeral. Sharing a meal like a loaf of homemade zucchini bread over tea can make a significant difference to someone facing the loneliness of bereavement.

This gentle approach helps maintain the essential support system that those grieving a loss deeply need. Whether it's through a timely meal, a thoughtful card, or simply your presence, your support is always cherished.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

How to Memorialize a Loved One

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 19:15:15 GMT

When you lose a loved one, it can feel like someone is missing for a long time, as day-to-day life looks different without them. This feeling can take a great deal of time to overcome, but taking the time to memorialize a loved one can be a wonderful way to begin or further the healing process. At first, it can feel painful to remember your loved one, but the more time you spend thinking about the ways you loved them and all the time you spent together, the more it can help you find some peace.

Although there are many ways to memorialize your loved one, here are a few ideas to jumpstart your own memorialization.

7 Ways to Memorialize Your Loved One

1. Add a custom gravestone to their burial site.

Every cemetery has different guidelines for what is necessary for a grave marker, but in many cases, you can customize a gravestone to include things that were unique to your loved one, such as their favorite quotes or even their own image.

2. Place a memorial bench near their final resting place.

A memorial bench itself functions as a memorial to your loved one. In many cases, depending on the guidelines of your loved one’s chosen cemetery, you can engrave a memorial bench with things about your loved one, like their favorite quotes.

However, a memorial bench also provides a place for you and others who loved your loved one to comfortably come together to spend some time with the person you’re all missing.

3. Write down your stories with them.

Memories are precious, but our clarity of them can become fuzzy over time. By taking the time to write down your memories with them, you’re creating a book that you can always return to when you want to think about them. This book is also a beautiful thing to share with others who are missing your loved one.

4. Visit a place that reminds you of them.

Our senses heighten our memories. Say you were to visit a beach that you used to go to with your loved one. The smell of the sea air, the sound of the lapping waves, the sight of the flowers that grow along the path, the taste of the ice cream that you’d always get at the boardwalk—these are all things that can make the memory of being together come back even more strongly.

5. Support something in their memory.

By creating something in the memory of your loved one, you’re leaving a legacy for them. You might consider making a scholarship fund to support the youth in their community or doing a fundraiser for a cause that meant a lot to them.

6. Write them a letter.

Sometimes, we don’t think we said enough to our loved one. You can tell someone you love them every day of their life, and in the end, you’ll still wish you had the opportunity to say it to them more. Consider writing them a letter to tell them the things you would say to them if they were still with you in your day-to-day life.

Depending on the regulations of your loved one’s burial place, you may also be able to leave the letter on their gravesite, which can feel very meaningful, as if you were speaking to them.

7. Plant a memorial tree.

When you plant a memorial tree, you get to watch it grow. Planting a new life can lift you up and remind you of the beauty of the planet we’re all lucky to share. You can also place memorial stones around the tree in your loved one’s honor, reminding you that your loved one is always there, always with you, even if you can’t see them.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

What Is the Purpose of Embalming?

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 18:47:18 GMT

Embalming can be a controversial topic. Some people are opposed to it, whether due to personal or religious reasons, but for others, embalming is an important part of starting their grief journey and getting a chance to say goodbye to the person they love.

For these reasons, embalming is a widespread practice, especially in the cases of open-casket funerals and viewings. What exactly does embalming mean? And what’s the purpose behind its use?

Why Are People Embalmed?

To understand the purpose of embalming, we first need to look at what embalming is. Embalming is the replacement of all bodily fluids with a preservative solution. This solution helps prevent the growth of bacteria and effectively slows the body’s decomposition.

After the body is cleaned and internal fluids are replaced by the solution, what happens next varies according to the wishes of the decedent’s family. Often, the next step is for the decedent to be prepared for a viewing or funeral, such as by being dressed in clothing provided by the family or having makeup put on them to make them look more like they did in life.

Embalming actually serves multiple purposes. Embalming is required in some states in the case of contagious diseases, as embalming plays a vital role in disinfecting the body and keeping others safe from spreading illnesses.

However, the main reason why people choose embalming is to slow the rate of the decedent’s decomposition, which can allow families more time to plan services and to hold funerals days after the loved one’s death. Embalming does not stop decomposition, but it can extend the process. For those who wish to avoid embalming, refrigeration can be another option that also helps to slow the decomposition process.

For many people, when they get one final opportunity to see their loved one before they enter their final resting place, they take comfort in seeing them as they did in life. If a loved one’s features changed before they passed, such as in the case of a long-term illness, embalming can help them return to how they looked before. Seeing a loved one the way you want to remember them is a powerful feeling, one that can help family and friends as they begin their grief journey.

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Coming Together in Grief: Planning a Funeral with Family

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 18:39:46 GMT

Planning a funeral is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences anyone can go through. It's a time filled with sorrow and an overwhelming list of decisions to make—ranging from selecting the final resting place to choosing the music, food, and flowers. In these moments, you might find yourself caught between a racing mind and an inability to move forward, feeling unprepared yet burdened by the looming responsibilities.

However, this difficult time also presents an opportunity to bring your family closer together. Involving your loved ones in the planning process can be a source of comfort and support, transforming a heavy burden into a shared journey. Here are some gentle suggestions on how to include your family in funeral planning and make the process more manageable and meaningful for everyone involved.

Delegate with Compassion

Reach out to your family and friends; don't hesitate to let them lend you a hand. For instance, younger family members like grandchildren might be particularly adept at gathering and organizing digital playlists or photo displays. This not only helps in getting things done but also allows them to contribute to celebrating the life of the loved one they’re mourning. Such activities can be therapeutic, sparking memories and stories that bring smiles in a time of grief.

Encourage Participation in Details

Consider assigning someone the task of handling donations to a charity if that’s what you desire. You can ask another relative to select a few clothing options for the final day, and perhaps a friend could be in charge of arranging transport or managing logistical details like washing cars and contacting the cemetery. These tasks, while small, can greatly reduce the pressure on you and allow others to feel they are contributing in a meaningful way.

Foster Togetherness Through Tasks

Writing a eulogy or an obituary is a significant task that can be shared. Maybe a close family member or a dear friend could take on this role, incorporating shared memories and insights from others. This can be a beautiful way to collectively remember and honor the deceased. Additionally, organizing a post-funeral gathering such as a luncheon or brunch can be managed by someone who enjoys event planning, ensuring that the gathering is heartfelt and runs smoothly.

Accept Help Gracefully

It’s okay to let go and accept help. By spreading out the responsibilities, not only are you alleviated from the stress of managing every detail, but your loved ones also gain the comfort of being actively involved during this hard time. It’s a way to feel connected and supported, knowing that you are all in this together.

Remember to Heal

Planning a funeral with your family isn't just about delegating tasks; it's a way to create a support network, fostering a space for shared grief and healing. It allows everyone affected by the loss to contribute personally and meaningfully, which can be profoundly comforting and therapeutic.

During this tough period, remember that it’s not just the practical tasks that are shared, but also the emotional weight. Together, you can help each other move through grief with a collective strength, ensuring that the memory of your loved one is honored in a way that is as unique and special as they were.

We hope these suggestions help ease your journey through funeral planning. For more guidance and support, feel free to reach out or visit our blog. Remember, in times of loss, you're not alone let your circle of family and friends help carry the burden and bring you solace.

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Funerals in America – Can you still “do it yourself?”

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 18:32:49 GMT

Can you have a “do it yourself funeral” is a question one cannot answer for oneself. For obvious reasons … you simply cannot … you as a deceased person will not be able to undertake any of the actions required to carry off the task. If one is thinking along this line … wishing for a home-based funeral for themselves … one needs to ask their family, can you have a home-based funeral… for me? Do you feel up to the task?

Now, this is where the word may might come into play … may is a word we use to ask permission. May you have a home-based funeral is a question you ask of your state. The answer is mostly yes. You may legally have some form of home-based funeral in all fifty states. In all but three—Washington, California, and Indiana—you may even bury at home. Still, each state has laws that must be adhered to. When a family assumes responsibility for care of the dead, they must adhere to all of the same laws that professional funeral directors must observe. Therefore, advance preparation is very important. If an individual is considering a home-based funeral and or burial on their private property, research regarding the legal requirements and a clear understanding of the tasks involved with consent from family members who will be responsible for carrying out the plan should be done well in advance. So, just to be clear, you may (legally) have a home-based funeral if your family can (is up to the task) do it.

If you know someone in their mid to late nineties, this person might remember when care of the dead was done in the home by family. Funerals, wakes, and visitation all took place at home. Some of these folks may have a bit of nostalgia for the old ways. Family involvement is cathartic, and being actively involved in preparation for a funeral helps a person process the reality of the death and feel less helpless. On the other hand, some may remember being uncomfortable living in a home where death care was taking place. These folks are usually thankful for the availability of professional death care and funerals that take place out of the home. There is no right or wrong here, and what works for one family may not be the choice of another.

You can go back and recapture the aspects of past times that provided warmth and comfort, but you don’t have to go all the way back to the days of no help. We still do our Thanksgiving feast every year, but most of us accept help. We buy the rolls, and someone brings the cranberry sauce. We’ve kept the kinship but given up the musket! With funerals we should keep the hugs, the stories, and even the tears but we can give up the sharpening of the spade. Lean on your local funeral professionals, talk to your funeral director, ask for what you want. Funerals tend to follow certain patterns, but if the pattern doesn’t feel right for your family, let your funeral director know.

Your funeral professionals are there to help you. They are there to ease the task. They will be pleased to work with you to meet your needs. So, for example, if your family wants to extend the time they have with you at home before the funeral home takes you into their care, just ask for more time. If your family wants to be actively involved, putting together a video, speaking, conducting Zoom coverage for out-of-town family members, ask. Perhaps your family would like to have part of the service or a reception at home; don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and what you think will bring comfort to your family. As you go through the planning process with the funeral director, remember it’s your loved one’s funeral. You knew them best and you know your family best. Your funeral director wants your family to have the best experience possible. Ask for what you want and need.

The important thing is to be sure that if you have particular wishes for your own funeral and final disposition that you share your wishes with the family members who will need to carry them out. Conversely, if you will be responsible for carrying out arrangements for a loved one and are unaware of the preferences of your family member regarding service, burial, or cremation, you need to have a conversation.

Funeral homes have experience with planning in advance. This service is provided free of charge. It just takes a phone call and an hour or two of your time to get all of your questions answered and a plan in place.

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Death Care in America … When did Americans begin to Cremate?

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 18:30:01 GMT

Although some Native American peoples, notably the tribes of the South West, cremated their dead, the practice was not widespread in America. The Apache and the Navaho cremated because they feared the dead, and others like the Odawa cremated because they believed cremation to be advantageous for releasing the spirit. But cremation was not a part of the European culture that American settlers brought with them to America. Burial was the common final disposition in America throughout the colonial, revolutionary, and post-revolutionary periods. The first cremation of an American of European decent did not take place until 1876.

Dr. Francis LeMoyne, a physician living in Washington PA, was concerned about the impact the practice of burying the dead could have on the health of the living. He built a facility on a piece of property he owned. He felt the ground water (drinking water) was bound to be contaminated by decomposing bodies buried in church, home, and town cemeteries. He built a two-room facility: one room for the retort, a cremation oven, and one room as a reception room for family and friends to gather for the final farewell. Total cost of the facility was one-thousand five hundred dollars.

The first to be cremated was Baron de Palm, an immigrant from Austria living in New York who was ill and had fallen on hard times. He accepted Dr. LeMoyne’s offer to cremate him following his death, free of charge. On December 6, 1876 at 2 am the fire for the furnace was lit. Several hours were required for the retort to reach the necessary temperature of 2,300 degrees Fahrenheit. A crowd gathered to witness the historic event. The body was placed in the retort at 8:20 am. The entire process was complete by 11:15 am. The body of Baron de Palm had been reduced to ash. The entire cost of the process was $7.04.

Although the public was curious about the process and it was enthusiastically covered by the press, people did not initially embrace the concept. Cremation was questioned by the religious community, who were unsure how it fit with their religious teachings. It was so vastly different from the burial that people were familiar with that many viewed cremation as barbaric.

As late as the 1960’s, only 3.6% of Americans chose cremation as their final disposition. But by 2025, The National Funeral Directors Association projects the climbing cremation rate will increase to 63.3%. What changed? Well, as we know, pretty much everything has changed since the mid-century.

Many faith communities have embraced cremation. Flat out, cremation does cost less, making it an attractive alternative for the cost conscious. Some people believe cremation to be more environmentally friendly than burial. Additionally, more of us are planning our own funeral in advance and paying for it ourselves in advance. Some of these people question the value of burial. It is also possible that we have been “sold” on cremation by movies and TV. Bottom line, things change. People’s values change. Cremation is currently the final disposition of choice for more than half of all Americans.

Being buried or cremated is just a personal choice. A choice that a person makes based on what they believe and what they hope will bring comfort to their family. The important thing that we need to cling to is a reverence for life. A life ending leaves a hole or at least a dent in the lives of those left behind. Those who knew and loved the person who died. There are tears, laughter, and memories to share. Whether we bury or cremate, whichever is chosen, we all must find a way to acknowledge the loss of a life. That is what makes us human … we live, we love, we care, we grieve.

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Can Catholics Be Cremated and What To Do with the Cremains?

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 19:28:13 GMT

Final disposition is a personal choice. For many, their choice is guided by their religion, with many faiths having rules and restrictions about the proper way to spend forever. For many years, final disposition meant burial for Catholics, but what’s allowed today? Can Catholics be cremated? And, if so, are there rules on how to handle a cremated loved one?

Can Catholics be cremated?

As of May 1963, the Vatican lifted the prohibition of Catholics from choosing cremation. It is now a part of canon law that Catholics are allowed to be cremated as their final disposition, though many Catholics still prefer the practice of burial. However, there are several guidelines on what you can do with a loved one’s cremated remains.

What can you do with the cremains?

For starters, the Catholic Church prefers that one has a Catholic funeral before cremation occurs, but the Church does allow for cremation to occur.

The Catholic Church believes in the sanctity of the body, which is why cremated remains may not be separated. Under the guidelines of the Church, scattering or spreading ashes, whether on land or sea, is not allowed. A cremated loved one must have one container, such as an urn, rather than be separated into multiple containers. For this reason, the Catholic Church does not permit some cremated remains in other items like jewelry.

The mingling of the remains of cremated persons is also discouraged. According to the Catholic Church, multiple people cannot be placed together in the same urn, as the Church emphasizes the individuality of each baptized person.

Catholicism teaches that all people will be resurrected at the end of days. Catholics believe that while cremation of the deceased’s body does not affect his or her soul, nor does it prevent God, in His omnipotence, from raising up the deceased’s body to new life, burial is above all the most fitting way to express faith and hope in the resurrection of the body.

In the Catholic faith, it’s essential to have a place to visit your loved one. To properly respect the body, the Church dictates that the body must be buried, cremated or not. Cemeteries often have several options for cremated remains that comply with the Catholic Church’s guidelines, such as sections of the cemetery with graves for urns or columbariums with niches for the urns.

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I Want to be Cremated but my Spouse Does Not. Can we Still be Buried Together?

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 19:23:09 GMT

Choosing to spend eternity together is a beautiful way to show that the love between you and your partner does not end with your passing. When you pick out a burial plot in a cemetery, you’re deciding on a space where you can continue to be in one another’s company after your time together in this world has passed.

However, it’s not uncommon for couples to not entirely be on the same page when it comes to how they plan to rest during that eternity. With cremation becoming increasingly common, some partners are struggling with the question of what to do if one spouse wants to be cremated and the other does not. If only one spouse is cremated, can a couple still be buried together?

Can you be buried with your spouse if you’re not both cremated?

In most cases, spouses can be buried together even if they haven’t chosen the same form of final disposition. However, there are a few caveats. The first thing to note is that you can’t be buried in the same container. Generally, your spouse, who chose not to be cremated, would be buried in a casket. You, after cremation, will be buried in an urn.

Different cemeteries have different regulations in terms of burial options for cremated and non-cremated remains. In some cases, a cemetery will require that the urn be buried on top of a casket.

Other cemeteries may not allow cremated remains to be buried in the same plot. In this case, you would need to purchase side-by-side plots to be buried beside your spouse. Ultimately, burial regulations vary by cemetery, which is why it’s vital to be sure the cemetery you choose to work with understands your wish for burial with your spouse.

Preplanning your final disposition can help you address these concerns and allow you to rest easy knowing your final wishes will be carried out after your passing. When you preplan, you can choose your and your spouse’s burial plot, learn about the burial regulations of the cemetery of your choosing, and ensure that you’ve put in place plans to be together forever.

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Finding the Right Words: Comforting Tips for Funeral Attendees

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 19:14:35 GMT

Finding the right words to express your feelings during such a deeply emotional time can feel daunting, and there is often a fear of saying something that might inadvertently cause more pain. We want to reassure you that your efforts to convey sympathy and your decision to be present are already profoundly supportive. In this guide, we'll provide you with straightforward advice to help alleviate some of this anxiety, ensuring that your words are both comforting and appropriate.

1. Presence is Comforting: Your presence at a funeral speaks volumes. Simply being there can provide immense comfort to those who are grieving. You don't need to worry about finding the perfect words; your support through your presence is invaluable.

2. Simple Expressions of Sympathy: It's okay to keep your words simple. A heartfelt "I'm sorry for your loss" is often enough to express your condolences. This simple phrase can provide a significant amount of comfort to the bereaved.

3. Personal Stories Are Treasured: Sharing a personal story about the deceased can be a touching tribute. It brings alive their memory and highlights the joy they brought to lives. Whether it's a humorous anecdote or a touching memory, these stories are cherished and can offer solace by reminding the family of the loved one's positive impact.

4. Say Their Name: Using the name of the deceased when sharing your memories can be very powerful. It shows that their memory is alive and respected. For instance, saying, "Mary's kindness was truly remarkable" or "John's enthusiasm was contagious," helps keep their spirit present in the memories shared.

5. Be a Good Listener: Often, the best thing you can do is listen. Allow the bereaved to express their feelings without judgment. Listening with empathy and without the need to offer unsolicited advice can be one of the most supportive actions you can take.

6. Offer Continued Support: Remember that grief doesn't end with the funeral. Offering your support, whether through a call, a visit, or a note, can be incredibly helpful as they continue to navigate their loss.

Navigating a funeral can often leave individuals unsure of what to say or do. By following these guidelines, you can provide meaningful support and convey your condolences in a manner that truly honors the memory of the departed.

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What are the Catholic Burial Rites?

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 16:56:23 GMT

When we say goodbye to the people we love, we often have certain traditions. Some of these traditions come from our families, but for many people, the faith they had in life informs the way their spirits are given a final farewell. When it comes to the Catholic faith, the Church offers a purposeful way to say goodbye, one that strengthens their bond with God and the community’s faith in Christ. This tradition is called the Catholic funeral rites or the Catholic burial rites, which contain three vital parts.

What are the Catholic burial rites?

Vigil Service

The first part of the Catholic funeral or burial rites is the vigil service, often referred to as the wake. A Catholic wake is led by prayer, as well as reflections on the life of the loved one. Family and friends gather together to pray and say goodbye while the decedent is present. Most often, the decedent is either in an open or closed casket at the vigil. According to the Catholic faith, a wake is the most appropriate time for eulogies.

Funeral Liturgy

While the vigil provides family and friends the opportunity to honor their loved one, the funeral liturgy is more about honoring God and commending the decedent to God’s glory. The funeral liturgy is a special type of Catholic Mass called the Funeral Mass. It begins with the Opening Rites, where the presiding priest greets the congregation and leads them through an opening prayer.

Following the Opening Rites is the Liturgy of the Word. Just like with traditional Catholic Masses, the priest, deacon and laity will read scripture coming from the Bible and give a homily, but in this case, the passages and homily are focused on the life of the decedent and the Catholic beliefs regarding death and eternal life. A Catholic funeral is generally less about expressing grief and more about strengthening our faith in God and worshipping Him.

Then, the Liturgy of the Eucharist begins, offering the consecrated bread and wine to Catholic followers in the congregation, followed by the Closing Rites. These Closing Rites are the last step of the Funeral Mass and include the Prayer of Commendation, commending the spirit of the decedent to God, and a final blessing. The priest may also lead a hymn before he, the casket of the decedent, and immediate family members file out of the church. Only when they leave are the remaining congregation allowed to go as well.

Rite of Committal

The Rite of Committal is the final funeral rite and ideally takes place at the place of committal, such as an open grave or a place of interment. This rite, led by prayer, sanctifies the communion between the Church in this world and the Church in Heaven. It also solidifies that the bonds we’ve made in life do not end in death.

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Death Care in America – The Birth of the Funeral Profession

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 16:53:07 GMT

Change, especially when it involves long held and deeply ingrained traditions, often happens in a slow incremental progression. Then something happens that causes a rapid acceleration and the way we do things is forever changed. Take, for example, cooking and eating at home. Humans hunted, grew, and cooked their own food for hundreds of years. And then, ever so slowly, folks started to specialize. Some grew and others purchased, some hunted and fished, and others purchased, some processed the grain and others purchased. Even when we no longer participated in all of the steps required to get a meal on the table, moms still cooked and families ate at home around the kitchen table. Some might say the Macdonald brothers, with their revamped hamburger restaurant a.k.a. “fast food,” were the catalyst for the way we eat today. These days, we are less inclined to cook our food and more likely to present food we purchased already prepared on our spacious home island. Life changed; some say for the better and others long for the good old days.

Similarly, the funeral profession moved along slowly for many years. Neighbor helping neighbor with death care duties gradually morphed into furniture makers who became coffin makers. People who had the tools and were accustomed to “digging” hired out to prepare graves. Bit by bit, the tasks involved in the care of the dead moved from the work of the family and came to involve skilled labor workers who offered assistance to families in need. Still, the care of the dead remained primarily a family matter until 1838 when the Frenchman Jean Gannel published “Histoire des Embaumements.” A primer for embalming the deceased.

Embalming was not entirely unknown before that time—certainly ancient peoples, including the Egyptians, had embalmed. But the publication of Mr. Gannel’s method of arterial embalming, where the blood is drained from the body and replaced with a chemical that retards deterioration, provided a means of preservation of the dead previously largely unknown. That this event coincided with the American Civil War was the spark that changed how we care for the dead today and the impetus for the birth of the funeral profession. Availability of a service met a heightened need for that service.

More than six hundred thousand men lost their lives in the Civil War, the bloodiest war to date in American history. Many died far from home. The war created the need to preserve the dead so that they could be returned home to enable their loved ones to “gaze upon their countenance” one final time and bury them near family.

Of the 600,000 who died in the Civil War, approximately 40,000 were embalmed. The majority were buried where they fell. Most of those who were embalmed fought on the side of preservation of the Union. They died far from home as the majority of the bloodiest battles of the Civil War were fought on southern soil.

At the start there were no requirements for licensure or training to embalm. Opportunists learned what they could from Gannel’s book and took to the fields. The results were inconsistent to say the least. In order to assure grieving families were not taken advantage of, the Department of War issued a general order requiring that only licensed persons could offer embalming services to bereaved family members. This requirement for embalmers to be licensed was the beginning of the funeral profession.

Then President Abraham Lincoln embraced the concept of embalming. When his young son Willie died, Mr. Lincoln had him embalmed. Three years later when Lincoln himself was assassinated, he too was embalmed. For many Americans, the president’s postmortem train trip from Washington DC to Illinois for burial was their first exposure to the benefit of embalming. The people were amazed that they were able to see and pay their respects to their beloved president days after his death as he made the long journey to his final resting place.

Today, we might call Lincoln an “influencer.” The science, improved, recorded, and shared by Gannel, “professionalized” by the Department of War requiring licensure to protect mourners from being taken advantage of, and embraced by President Lincoln as an early adopter birthed the funeral profession that we know and trust today.

Today, our options have multiplied. We can choose to be embalmed, cremated, or buried. We can choose to have a faith-based service or a secular celebration of life. We can choose to have an almost immediate burial, or we can wait for a more convenient time. We can even choose to have a home-based funeral service. Regardless of how we decide to say good-bye to our loved ones, we have access to the guidance of caring professionals: our local funeral directors, who operate under the guidelines and legal requirements of the state in which we reside. We are no longer required to go it alone. When we need them the most, we have our funeral director just a phone call away.

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Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 19:46:05 GMT

Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

First up, showing up is what really counts. It's not so much about your outfit as it is about your presence. Whether you're there to offer a comforting hug, share fond memories, or just be a supportive face in the crowd, your being there matters more than whether your shoes are perfectly polished.

Now, onto the fashion part. This can vary a lot depending on who you're saying goodbye to. For example, if it’s your traditional 80-year-old grandpa, things are likely to be on the formal side. You might see his old buddies in more conservative looks. For guys, think slacks and a collared shirt. If you've got a sport coat, throw it on; a tie is a nice touch but not mandatory. Ladies, you can't go wrong with dress pants and a neat sweater or blouse. If you're feeling a dress or skirt, absolutely go for it—just keep an eye on the neckline and hem.

But what if the service is for someone younger, or it's a non-religious memorial? These can be a bit more laid-back. You might even get invited to a 'celebration of life' that could have a theme—like, if the deceased loved golf, you might be teeing up in your best golf attire.

The rules have definitely relaxed over time. Black isn't a must anymore. Just aim for something neat, clean, and subdued. Think about what you’d wear to a serious job interview—that level of smart.

Here’s the bottom line: A funeral isn't the place to strut your latest fashion find. It's about respect and remembrance. So, scan your wardrobe for something understated and appropriate—you can’t go wrong with that mindset.

Remember, what you wear won’t overshadow the importance of simply being there. Share stories, offer support, and don’t stress too much about your attire. Whether it's a somber traditional service or a casual send-off, your respectful presence is what truly matters.

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Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 19:45:49 GMT

When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life. After all, a funeral serves primarily those who survive; it is a rite that helps us shift our focus from the circumstances of death to celebrating the life that was lived.

Personalizing the Planning Process

Understanding that a funeral is not just for the deceased but for the comfort of the survivors can profoundly shape how we approach planning these important ceremonies. If you're contemplating your own future arrangements, start by considering what would bring comfort and solace to those you will leave behind. What memories would make them smile? How can your life's story best be told in a way that honors your relationships and the shared experiences that meant so much?

Involving your family from the outset is not just practical but essential. Each family member may have a unique memory or perspective that can contribute to a more personalized and meaningful service. Whether planning ahead for yourself or arranging a service for a loved one who has passed, engaging everyone in the conversation can lead to a beautiful, collective tribute.

Reflecting Unique Personalities in Services

For those planning a service after a loss, consider incorporating the memories and voices of all who were close to the deceased. Children and grandchildren, in particular, can provide poignant insights and memories that celebrate the unique personality of your loved one. Don't hesitate to ask your funeral director for creative ideas to help reflect these personal elements in the ceremony.

It used to be that funeral planning began with questions about the deceased's faith or their specific wishes, and while these are still important, they shouldn't overshadow the needs of the living. For example, if tradition suggests a closed casket but you need a moment to say goodbye, it's okay to speak up. Or, if you'd prefer a eulogy that focuses more on life stories than religious elements, that should be embraced too.

The Lasting Impact of Thoughtful Planning

The impressions made by a funeral are lasting, often forming the final memories that survivors carry forward. This makes it all the more crucial to craft an experience that resonates with and comforts those who are grieving. This doesn't mean every detail needs to be solemn—photographs, favorite songs, and even lighter moments can all play a part in the celebration of life.

In essence, making family the cornerstone of funeral planning not only ensures that the arrangements reflect the true spirit of the deceased but also fortifies the bonds among those who remain. It’s about creating a moment in time where the family can mourn, reflect, and begin to heal together. As you plan, remember that these decisions are about more than just logistics; they're a testament to a life well-lived and the impact it had on others. Thus, whether you're pre-planning your own service or organizing one for someone dear, let compassion, love, and shared memories guide you.

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What’s the Difference Between Entombment and Interment

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 18:42:22 GMT

There’s a lot to consider when looking for either your or your loved one’s final resting place, to the point that it can be easy to get overwhelmed. The decision only becomes more complicated when you’re met with unfamiliar vernacular. One choice you may have to make is between entombment or interment. But what exactly do those terms mean? And what’s the difference between interment and entombment?

What Does Entombment Mean?

Generally speaking, entombment refers to when a decedent or their cremated remains are put in a specific location above ground rather than buried in the ground. The two main options when choosing entombment are mausoleums and columbariums, which are above-ground structures in cemeteries. If you choose to be entombed in a mausoleum, you will be buried in a casket in one of the mausoleum’s crypts. Meanwhile, if you choose to be cremated, you’ll be placed in an urn in a niche in a columbarium.

However, there are additional options when choosing entombment in a mausoleum or columbarium. In the case of community mausoleums or columbariums, you will be entombed with other individuals outside of your own family. However, some families choose to invest in a private or family mausoleum or columbarium. Private mausoleums or columbariums can be for just one family or even just one individual.

What Does Interment Mean?

The main difference between entombment and interment is that the former takes place above ground while the latter takes place below ground. When we talk about interment, we typically mean the process of burying a loved one or their cremated remains into the ground. If someone were to have been buried in a grave, you would say that they were interred. However, when an urn is buried rather than placed in a columbarium, you can also say that the urn was interred.

As cremation has become more popular, the traditional definition of interment has somewhat changed. You may hear interment referred to simply as your loved one’s final resting place, regardless of whether it's above or below ground. But, traditionally, the definitions of entombment and interment differ based on where your loved one is buried.

It’s also worth noting that you may also sometimes hear the term inurnment, which can be confused with interment. But inurnment simply means that your loved one was cremated, with their cremains being placed inside of an urn. Someone can be both inurned and entombed in a columbarium or inurned and interred in a cemetery plot.

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What is a Retort? Is it the Same as a Crematory?

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 16:05:20 GMT

The world of funeral homes can be filled with unfamiliar terminology, and keeping track of it all gets confusing. Talking about cremation is no exception. So, what does it mean when someone says that they’re going to a crematory? What about a retort? Are those the same thing? Let’s break down the difference between these locations that are crucial to the cremation process.

What is a crematory?

A crematory, sometimes called a crematorium, is a facility where cremation occurs. These locations are where a decedent's body is put into a chamber and turned to ashes. Once the cremation occurs, the crematory operator will follow what you have selected on your Cremation Authorization Form as the next part of your loved one’s journey. That may mean that they enact the final disposition themselves or that your loved one will be returned to you for you to choose their final disposition, such as being scattered in a location they loved or being placed in a columbarium.

A crematory may exist on its own, but it may have other rooms that serve families who come to them for their loved one’s cremation. Some crematories have a space where families can have a cremation viewing. It’s worth noting, however, that most small crematories are not equipped for viewings. Additionally, it’s not possible to watch the full cremation. The family will only be able to see their loved one being prepared for their cremation and being placed in the cremation chamber.

Crematories are sometimes a part of the funeral home itself. When you work with a funeral home that contains a crematory, you’ll be able to plan your loved one’s funeral and their final disposition with your funeral director, who will ensure that your loved one receives a meaningful farewell.

If you work with a funeral home that does not have its own crematory, you can rest assured that your loved one will still receive essential care. Your funeral director will ensure that your loved one is transported to a licensed crematory that’s dedicated to providing high-quality support to those who come to them. Many crematories prefer to work directly with a funeral director to ensure that transportation is correctly planned and all necessary forms, including the vital Cremation Permit, are accounted for. Although you’ll have to provide information for the Cremation Authorization Form to obtain the permit, your funeral director will handle all the other details of your loved one’s cremation.

What is a retort?

A retort is sometimes confused with a crematory, but it’s actually located inside one. When someone refers to a cremation chamber or a cremation oven, they’re talking about a retort. These machines must operate at extremely high temperatures to ensure that the decedent can be properly cremated. Fire-resistant bricks often line the retort on the walls and ceiling, while specially-designed masonry is on the bottom, where temperatures are usually the highest.

Once a decedent is placed in a cremation container, they’re then moved into the retort, where they’re oxidized and then vaporized. The vapors that are released are filtered through the retort’s exhaust system. What remains is separated between organic and non-organic materials. The organic materials are then processed after cooling before being sealed in a bag and returned to their loved ones.

If your loved one wanted to be cremated, talk to your funeral director about the cremation process and about your crematory options. They’ll help guide you through the process and work with you to plan your loved one’s care.

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When Should I Start Thinking About Planning My Own Funeral?

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 15:56:29 GMT

Not everyone preplans their funeral, but doing so is a gift to your loved ones. By doing so, you’re allowing your family to grieve in peace without having to worry about the hundreds of decisions that accompany the funeral-planning process. You’re also giving your family peace of mind by telling them your wishes for your funeral and final disposition. Since they know what you would have wanted, they won’t have to worry about whether or not they’re making the right choices.

But at what age should you start planning your funeral? You may not be thinking about your funeral at a young age, but you may want to consider planning earlier than you think you should.

What age is the right age to plan your funeral?

There’s no wrong time to preplan your funeral, though it’s worth considering if you’re at an age where you can truly comprehend the complexity of loss and passing. A child, for instance, may not be able to understand the questions that will be asked of them when it comes to funeral planning. However, people as young as 18 may benefit from making some decisions regarding what they’d like to happen in the event of their passing.

But much like writing a will, funeral planning doesn’t have to be set in stone with its first iteration. If you preplan your funeral in your 20s and a major life change, such as having a child, makes you want to change your planning in your 30s, your chosen funeral home will work with you to make those adjustments. There’s no deterrent to planning your funeral at a younger age because you can continue to add to or adjust these plans as you grow older.

Research suggests that one of the primary reasons why people choose to preplan at a younger age is because they’ve lost a loved one or experienced having to plan a funeral for a loved one . Having seen the difficulty of planning a funeral while dealing with grief, these preplanners opted to ensure that their own loved ones would not have to undergo the same experience. On the other hand, many preplanners decided to make arrangements in advance because their experience was made easier by their loved one having preplanned. Regardless of whether a loved one preplanned or not, it seems that the loss of a loved one at a younger age triggers people in their 20s and 30s to decide to start thinking about their own eventual passing.

Preplanning at a young age also helps you to get a better idea of finances that your family will be able to use in the event of your passing. By getting a more complete picture of funeral and final disposition costs, you’ll be able to better organize funds for the funeral you want. It’s a good idea to consider funeral payment plans early. For instance, you may want to start putting funds into an account early so that you can continue to save up for the funeral and final disposition you desire. By funding such an account, you’re preventing your family from having to worry about costs later on.

You can also talk to your funeral director about what kinds of payment plans your chosen funeral home offers. The arrangements you make and the payment plans are both transferable, meaning that you don’t have to be concerned over all your planning going to waste. If you decide to work with another funeral home or if your family needs to hold your funeral at another location, your plans will be able to be moved.

While preplanning your funeral early may be beneficial, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t preplan if you’re of a more advanced age. Regardless of when you preplan your funeral, you’re helping your family before their time of need. Many people preplan their funeral when they know that they will soon pass, such as when they’re diagnosed with a terminal illness. Although planning close to the time when you may pass gives you less time to get your affairs in order, any plans that you do make, as well as any prepayments you make, will benefit your family after you pass.

The question of when you should start planning your funeral is difficult to answer because the answer is most often as soon as you’re able. There’s no right age to begin planning. Whether you’re 30 or 60, making arrangements for your funeral will help out those you’ll leave behind, giving them a blueprint for your final wishes. They’ll be able to grieve with fewer decisions to make and fewer questions filling their minds. Only you can decide if you’re ready to preplan, but if you do decide to do so, know that you’re giving a wonderful gift to the people you love.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Where Should I Leave My Condolence Message?

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 15:52:51 GMT

When someone you love loses someone they love, the bonds of family, friends, and community become even more apparent. We watch as the people we love struggle under the weight of loss and grief. And the question often arises that asks, “What can we do?”

The answer isn’t often clear. We cannot solve grief. In fact, it’s not something to be solved at all. It’s a natural part of loving and losing someone dear to us. Often, there isn’t much that can be done to lighten the weight of loss. The most we can do is be there for the person we love.

Sometimes, the best we can do is offer a kind word. Offering condolences and letting someone know that you’re there for them can create a bright light even when it seems like all they can see is darkness.

But where should you leave a condolence message? In today’s digital world, the news of someone’s passing may be spread throughout many different locations, like Facebook posts or community message boards. You may be inclined to write your condolences on the first post you see. Let’s get into why there’s a better option.

The Challenges of Finding Obituaries in the Digital Age

It used to be that people primarily learned about the passing of a community member through their local newspaper. While obituaries in newspapers still do occur, it’s much more common for information about someone’s passing and their funeral services to be shared on social media, message boards, and websites dedicated to obituaries.

When you find such a post online, your first reaction might be to leave your condolences in a comment, but there’s a better way. If messages are scattered across the internet, the family is likely to miss some comments. In some cases, an obituary might be shared on a website that the family isn’t even aware of, all but guaranteeing that they’ll never see the condolences left on that site.

Someone’s passing doesn’t just directly affect the decedent's family, either. We touch so many lives throughout our own lifetime. You never know who is going to miss you when you’re gone. Condolences don’t just provide comfort to the immediate family. Entire communities take comfort in reading those messages, whether they’re simply words of support or are filled with memories of the lives the decedent touched.

Leave Condolences on the Funeral Home Website

While we’re not discouraging anyone from leaving condolences on any platform, including social media, we strongly recommend that, if you can, you leave it on the funeral home website so there’s one central location for them to see it. If you want to reach all of the people navigating a new world of grief, you should share your condolences in a place where those who loved the decedent know to look.

Most often, when someone is working with a funeral home and posts about their loved one’s passing on Facebook, message boards, or other websites, they’ll share the link to a page on the funeral home’s website. On this page, you’ll find information about the services, the decedent’s obituary, and how to pay your respects.

This page also often functions as a central hub for condolences, where everyone who loved the decedent or who loves someone the decedent loved can leave a thoughtful word and a statement of support. This section of the funeral home’s obituary page is sometimes called a tribute wall or a guestbook. Like an in-person guestbook at a funeral, it’s something that the family of the decedent can always look back on to remember and take comfort in how loved their loved one was.

Having a central hub on the funeral home’s website ultimately benefits everyone. It becomes a primary location for condolences. Instead of having hundreds of messages spread across dozens of social media posts, those hundreds of messages will be in one place, an ever-growing testament to the decedent’s life. But clicking out to the funeral home’s website rather than simply writing a comment is also helpful for you as someone who loved the decedent. If you want to attend the funeral, the information for the services will be available to you. But you’ll also find that this page can help you go further in paying your respects.

You can order flowers directly through the funeral home’s website, which is a thoughtful touch when sharing your condolences. If you’d like to order flowers for the service, placing an order through the funeral home website alleviates your stress because you don’t have to worry about when it’s being delivered and where. The funeral home will ensure that your flowers end up where they need to go and will handle it for you.

If the person who passed has a service, you’ll find that offering condolences there also helps both you and the people you’re coming out to support. Services bring people together and allow them to provide one another with comfort and care. Coming to a funeral service gives the family of the decedent a chance to see just how many people loved their loved one.

But whether you attend the service or not, writing a condolence message is still an impactful way of telling someone they are loved and supported during their time of grief. Locate the decedent’s obituary page on their funeral home website to share your message and contribute to the creation of something their loved ones can always turn to when they need an encouraging word.

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Your Parents Preplanned Their Funerals—How to Tell Your Siblings

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:52:31 GMT

Planning a parent’s funeral is an emotional experience, but when your parents preplan their funeral in advance, they’re making that difficult time a little easier. A preplan gives you a blueprint for what your parents want for their funeral, ensuring that you have fewer overwhelming decisions to make. But if your parents didn’t talk to your siblings about their plans, it’ll fall to you to walk them through that blueprint. How do you talk to your siblings about your parents having preplanned their funerals?

How to Tell Your Sibling Your Parents Preplanned Their Funerals

1. Recognize that your siblings may grieve differently than you.

Some people want to continue on with their day-to-day life after a parent passes. They may find comfort in going to work or spending time with friends. They may throw themselves into a project to take their minds off of their grief. For others, it’s challenging to be around people, and they may isolate themselves. Even if you handle grief one way, just because your sibling is related to you doesn’t mean they’ll grieve the same way.

You may be ready to think about funeral planning, but your sibling might not be in the right headspace to discuss services and disposition so soon after your parent passes. Approach your sibling carefully and tell them you want to talk about your parent’s funeral. Give them the option to tell you if they’re ready to talk about it. Let them know it’s okay to take their time and that you’ll be there for them whenever they’re ready. You may be on a time limit depending on when you’d like the funeral to be held, so be sure that they’re aware of the time frame you’re working with.

2. Don’t leave anyone out.

Maybe you have two siblings. One lives several states away, while the other is just one town over. You may think that you’re taking things off of the plate of the sibling who lives further away by not talking to them about funeral planning. But leaving any of your siblings out of the funeral planning process may cause further problems down the road. If a sibling tells you outright that they don’t want to be involved in the planning, that’s acceptable. But unless they tell you they don’t want to be part of it, you should assume that they’d like some say in their parent’s funeral.

With your parents having preplanned, there are fewer decisions to make, but your sibling might just want to feel included in the planning process. They may already feel slighted that their parents told you they preplanned but not them. Excluding them further from the process may just make that wound bigger. Emotions run high when people are grieving. A perceived slight during the funeral planning process may turn into a long-held grudge. And this should be a time for you and your siblings to come together, not for you to drift apart over hurt feelings.

When you talk to your siblings about your parents’ preplanning, make sure it’s during a time that works for both of them. If only one sibling can come in person to talk, allow the other to join via a video call platform or by phone. If one of your siblings doesn’t get along with another, do your best to mediate and remind them that their situation is temporary. You won’t have to talk about funeral planning for your parents after the funeral is held. If anyone asks for a sibling to be excluded, explain that doing so may cause more complications and that the potentially-excluded sibling is still your parents’ child. They deserve to be a part of their parents’ funeral as well.

3. Be sure to have all essential documents available for them.

Your siblings will likely have many questions about what your parents did and did not plan. Even if you spoke with your parents before they passed about what they wanted for their funeral, you might not have all the answers. You’ll have copies of essential documents to keep with you as a reference, but you’ll find comfort in knowing the files are stored at the funeral home when you need them. You may learn some things you weren’t aware of too.

Don’t worry if the documents don’t answer all the questions you and your siblings have about the service choices your parents made. As a part of the process, you’ll have a chance to meet with a funeral director at the funeral home, who will likely be able to answer any questions that the documents couldn’t satisfy. This meeting will also give you and all of your siblings a chance to see the funeral home and begin making outstanding decisions that your parents didn’t make. You may also find comfort in knowing that your parents handled many of the most significant decisions, creating less stress for you and your siblings and allowing you more time to grieve together.

4. Work together to make any additional decisions.

Because your parents preplanned, there will be fewer decisions for you and your siblings, but most likely, there will still be some choices for you all to make. Preplanning comes in many different forms. Some people plan every detail of their funeral and disposition. Others make some of the major decisions and leave the other choices to their kin. Your funeral director will be able to guide you through the additional choices you’ll have to make. Just like you shouldn’t exclude anyone from the initial funeral planning conversations, you shouldn’t exclude anyone from this decision-making time.

However, it’s important to note that the funeral home can only follow one person’s instructions. If there are disagreements about certain decisions, the funeral home will not be able to satisfy their contradictory desires. The funeral home will follow the directions of the person named by your parents as the one who will be planning the funeral. If your parents requested you to enact their funeral plans, you should express to your siblings that your directions will be the ones that the funeral home will follow and that you will do your best to stick to your parents’ already-made choices.

5. Organize payment.

While your parents may have preplanned their funeral, they may not have prepaid. Funeral homes offer different payment plans for people who are preplanning, and those plans may cover all or some of their funeral and disposition. Talk to your funeral director about what’s been paid for so far and what still needs to be covered. Ask for a General Price List, Outer Burial Container Price List, and a Casket Price List to get an idea of how the costs break down. You should also check your parents’ financial records to see if they had set money aside for the funeral outside of going through a funeral home.

Once you have a detailed list of what still needs to be paid for, talk to your siblings about breaking down costs. Technically, only your parents’ estate is responsible for funeral and disposition payments. But if your parents’ estate isn’t enough to cover the expenses, you and your siblings will likely have to figure out payments on your own. Do your best to divide up costs in a reasonable and fair way, ensuring that no sibling has to cover more than they’re able to.

Your parents gave you and your siblings a gift by preplanning and possibly prepaying for their funeral. When planning a funeral, there are hundreds of decisions that can often be challenging to make when you’re already in the midst of grieving. Thanks to your parents’ preplanning, you and your siblings will have less to worry about, allowing you all to simply grieve together and support one another with less stress.

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Do I Have to Go to a Funeral Home to Preplan?

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:50:59 GMT

Preplanning your funeral is a gift to your family and friends. It ensures that not only will you have the funeral that you want but also that your family will be faced with fewer questions and worries when they put your plan into action. Preplanning a funeral often takes working with a knowledgeable funeral director who will be your guide in the planning process. But what if you can’t visit the funeral home in person? Can you still preplan your funeral?

Should I go to a funeral home to preplan if I can?

If you have the ability to venture to the funeral home of your choice to preplan, take advantage of the opportunity. Beyond meeting with the funeral director face to face to discuss your options, you’ll also be able to see the funeral home in person. You’ll want to be sure that the funeral home suits the needs of your service. Can it fit the number of people you’re expecting to attend? Is there enough parking for all of these people? Can the funeral home fit the needs of your religious or cultural traditions? Seeing the funeral home with your own eyes will help you to know if that’s where you want your funeral to be.

Do I have to go to a funeral home to preplan my funeral?

When it’s not possible to visit the funeral home in person, your funeral director can help guide you through your options from afar. Just like many professions, the funeral profession tries to keep up with the rapid advancement of technology to ensure that they can serve the people who come to them for assistance properly. One way in which funeral homes are striving to serve in the modern age is by offering virtual ways to preplan.

When you preplan your funeral, it’s crucial that you know who you’re working with. A face-to-face meeting with a funeral director is always more ideal than a phone call. With today’s technology, face-to-face and in-person meetings aren’t synonymous. A face-to-face meeting can still be accomplished virtually by way of online meeting applications like Zoom, Google Meet, or Skype. With these applications, you can talk to your funeral director as they show you your options for your funeral and final disposition.

Funeral homes will walk you through various documents during your meeting, ensuring that you have a thorough and complete understanding of your choices before making any major decisions. From there, they’ll send the documents to you to reference throughout the decision-making process. For instance, a funeral home is required to show you a General Price List, a Casket Price List, and an Outer Burial Container Price List. Ensure that these documents are sent to you after the meeting so you can follow up with any additional questions you might have after your initial conversation.

During your meeting, you should also try to get an idea of what the funeral home’s facilities have to offer to allow you to envision what the funeral or other services will look like. While in a virtual meeting with your funeral director, ask for a tour. You’ll still be able to see the facilities and ask questions, just like you would if you went to the funeral home yourself. Another option is to send someone to be your liaison. Ideally, this person should be the person who will be handling your affairs after you pass, such as your next of kin or the executor of your estate. Talk to this person about what you want in your funeral to ensure that they know what to look for when they visit the funeral home.

What should you do if you’ve never used virtual meeting applications or if you don’t have an email? Planning over the phone is still an option, but you’ll still need some way to see the documents that are essential for preplanning a funeral. Ask a loved one if they can help you with this issue. Have the documents sent to your loved one’s email, and then ask your loved one if they can deliver them to you. If your loved one is available during your meeting times, you can also ask if they can help you set up the virtual calls. That way, you’ll still be able to speak face to face, even if you yourself are unfamiliar with virtual meetings.

Funeral directors aim to be as accommodating as possible during the preplanning process. They want you to plan the exact funeral you want, so they’ll do anything they can to ensure you’re comfortable throughout the planning. Let them know about any restrictions while planning, such as if you’re unable to come into the funeral home, and ask them what options you have for planning from a distance.

Funeral directors have years of experience helping people plan their funerals, so you can rest assured that you won’t be the first person they’ve worked with who can’t come into the funeral home. They’ll be able to guide you through the planning process, whether it’s by phone, virtual meetings, through a liaison, or in person.

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How Loved Ones Are Honored on the Day of the Dead

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:29:53 GMT

For many Americans, the arrival of October means nearing a day of candy, scary stories, and haunted happenings. But for many other parts of the world, they’re approaching a time in which they can celebrate and honor the lives of the loved ones they’ve lost. And in some of these places, those holidays are times of somber reflection.

However, one holiday honors the lives of those no longer with us through a joyous celebration in which the world we live in blends with the world of the dead. Although this holiday occurs in several countries in South and Central America, we often think first of Mexico. Why and how does Mexico celebrate the Day of the Dead?

Why do we celebrate the Day of the Dead?

There’s a common misconception that the Day of the Dead is Catholic in origin, but that’s not entirely true . The Day of the Dead traces its roots back to the Aztec people in what is now central Mexico. Once Spain conquered the Aztec empire, the Catholic Church incorporated the indigenous celebrations honoring the dead into the already-existing Catholic dates of celebration All Saints Day and All Souls Day, November 1 and November 2, respectively.

Many Catholic countries, including Spain and Italy, have their own traditions of celebrating All Souls Day and All Saints Day, but the Day of the Dead is most commonly associated with Mexican culture. In Mexico, the Day of the Dead , or el Día de los Muertos, is a three-day celebration in which Mexican families welcome the souls of their relatives back to the land of the living. According to tradition, the gates of heaven reopen on October 31 to allow the souls of children to return to their families for 24 hours. Adults are welcomed back to do the same on November 2.

Day of the Dead is not a day for mourning, nor is it simply the Mexican version of the more American celebration of Halloween, as it’s often thought of. This is a day in which the border between the worlds of the living and the dead dissolve, when families may reunite with the ones that they love. The spirits are welcomed back as honored guests, and families feast, drink, and dance together again.

What traditions are honored on the Day of the Dead?

To welcome loved ones back to the land of the living, offerings play an essential role. Mesoamerican rituals asserted that the dead needed to travel through nine challenging levels in Chicunamictlán, the Land of the Dead, before they could reach their final resting place, Mictlán. To help their loved ones through the trials, families would level offerings of food, water, and tools. This tradition became a part of the Day of the Dead.

Today, families often leave favorite foods or other offerings on the gravesites of their relatives. They may also leave such things on altars in their homes called ofrendas. The altar is not meant to worship the decedent but to honor them instead. Each ofrenda is personal to the individual it is welcoming back to our world. They often have pictures of the decedent, as well as things they loved while alive. A child’s ofrenda may have their favorite toys, while an adult’s may have their favorite piece of clothing.

However, there are some staples that are commonly seen on ofrendas. Candles are lit to welcome spirits to their altar. The strong scent of cempasúchitl flowers, or marigolds, which symbolize death, are meant to lead souls to their ofrendas. Copal incense, the dried resin of a tree native to Mexico, also functions as a guide. Pan de muerto, or the bread of the dead, is frequently placed on these altars, as well as sugar skulls, which are symbols of death and the afterlife.

As these altars are meant to welcome souls back to our world, you’ll find many things on an ofrenda that you might provide for any guest, such as fresh fruits and water. Since the loved one followed a long journey to reach their relatives, many families offer toiletries to help them freshen up for the celebration. Food and drink are essential components of the ofrenda. In addition to providing the loved one’s treats, their family may also offer their alcohol of choice. Salt also is present on the table, but it serves less as sustenance and more as a symbol of the continuance of life. Ceramics and woven baskets are also typically a part of an ofrenda.

Because Mexico is the second-largest Catholic country in the world after Brazil, it makes sense that some Catholic customs play a role in this holiday. Ofrendas, which are often covered with white cloth and draped with papal picado, or decorative cut paper, also display the images of saints, particularly if they were important to the person the altar was built for.

The food and drink placed on an altar are not meant to be consumed by the living, but many treats are a part of the celebration as well. People engaging in the festivities dine on the pan de muerto, though never the ones that were placed on ofrendas. You’ll also likely find spiced hot chocolate, the fried dough dish sopaipillas, and skull-shaped alegrias candy often made from amaranth, raisins, assorted nuts, and honey.

Calacas and calaveras, skeletons and skulls, respectively, are symbols of the holiday. Sugar skulls are frequent holiday fixtures and are more meant for decoration than consumption. For sugar skulls placed on ofrendas, the decedent's name is often written in icing across the forehead. Decorative clothed and colorful skeletons, often wearing traditional Mexican dresses and other clothing, are another holiday staple.

At its heart, the holiday is about celebrating and remembering those who are with us in spirit. To honor these spirits, families clean the graves of their relatives and ancestors before decorating them with festive displays that typically include the cempasúchitl flower. Families also share stories of the dead, though they usually focus on more upbeat tales in keeping with the theme of celebration rather than mourning.

In Mexican culture, the dead do not leave us when they die. They keep their loved ones with them through stories and celebration, though no celebration is quite as prevalent as the Day of the Dead. Mexican culture teaches us not to fear death but to look at it as the soul continuing on to the next world. And when the Day of the Dead arrives, the next world blends with our own, creating a day of joy in which we can be with the ones we love again.

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The First Thanksgiving Alone

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 16:14:37 GMT

Thanksgiving looks different to all different kinds of families, but it can also look different year after year. As family members grow up and have their own families, Thanksgiving celebrations may shrink. And as time goes on, the passing of family members can make those smaller Thanksgivings even more emotional. There may come a day when your Thanksgiving will be celebrated alone, which can trigger feelings of grief and loss. How can you navigate a Thanksgiving spent alone? There’s no wrong way, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.

What to Do When Spending Your First Thanksgiving Alone

1. Decide if you’d like to celebrate.

There’s no rule that says that you have to celebrate Thanksgiving. Sometimes, the most challenging part about the holidays is the expectation. We often remember images of what we think Thanksgiving is supposed to be like: an overflowing table with many family members seated around it, all smiling and having a wonderful time. We may even remember a time in our childhoods when our Thanksgiving dinner tables looked similar to those idyllic images.

But, more often than not, those images aren’t the reality for most people. You’re not alone if you don’t feel like celebrating when there aren’t others around. It’s okay not to want to put in the work to cook a large meal if you’re only the one eating it. There’s nothing wrong with deciding to skip the usual Thanksgiving traditions. On the other hand, if the traditions give you comfort, you may enjoy simply spending the holiday cooking. Only you can decide if you want to celebrate Thanksgiving when you’re alone.

2. Contact others who may also be alone for the holiday.

If you do decide to celebrate, remember that you may not be the only one celebrating alone. Perhaps a friend has recently been widowed, and their children live far away. Or maybe a recently divorced friend is spending the holiday alone because their children are with their ex-partner. Think about the people you know, and don’t be afraid to reach out and see what they’re up to.

Suggest a digital alternative if friends or family can’t gather in person. You could ask everyone to grab their favorite Thanksgiving foods and call into an online meeting platform, like Zoom. Even if you only chat for an hour out of the day, you may still enjoy having a little interaction with people you love during what otherwise may be a bit of a lonely day.

3. Volunteer.

Consider celebrating the holiday with people who may also be having a difficult day. Thanksgiving is one of the biggest volunteer days of the year, and the people who volunteer have the honor of helping those less fortunate have their own special holidays. When we volunteer, we’re helping others and helping ourselves. Volunteering our time releases dopamine , making us feel good about the good we’re doing. Seeing that what you’re doing is putting a smile on others’ faces will put a smile on yours.

Call around to your local food banks, soup kitchens, or places of worship and see who is in need of some help this holiday. When you’re spending a holiday alone, you may find it helpful to take your mind off the situation. Volunteering not only takes your mind off of the day but also puts the focus on someone else, making you feel good about your selfless act.

4. Treat yourself with something that you enjoy doing.

There are other ways to take your mind off the day besides volunteering, however. And especially if you’ve had a difficult time lately, it’s important that you’re taking care of yourself. One way to treat yourself to some essential self-care is by finding a way to put a smile on your own face. If you don’t want to think about the holiday, think about something that will occupy your body and mind in another way. What’s something you don’t often get to do that you really enjoy? Maybe you’ll spend the whole day curled up by the fire with a beloved pet and a good book. Or perhaps you’d rather spend your time in a fishing boat with the sun shining over the water, illuminating your day’s catches.

Be kind to yourself and let yourself indulge a little. Make a list of things you’d like to do that you don’t do every day, from activities to other treats, like your favorite chocolates. You deserve something that makes you feel good, so enjoy it all without a second thought.

5. Consider making preparations for the day with a professional.

Spending a holiday alone can be challenging, especially if you’re spending it alone because of the passing of a loved one. Sometimes, it’s best to be prepared for any emotions you face during that day. Talking to a mental health professional before the day arrives can help you combat your feelings as they arise. Before Thanksgiving comes around, schedule a meeting with a mental health professional and work with them to create a game plan for the holiday. You may feel better knowing that you’re facing the day with professional advice to help you navigate how you’re feeling.

Spending your first Thanksgiving alone can bring about a wealth of emotions. Especially if you’re spending it alone because of a loved one’s passing, you may feel more grief than you expect. But remember that there’s no wrong way to observe Thanksgiving alone, even if it means not celebrating at all. No matter what you choose to do, remember to be patient with yourself because ignoring or repressing your emotions may end up causing more harm in the long run. You’re allowed to grieve, even during a holiday.

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Honoring Military Heroes on Veterans Day

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 16:12:25 GMT

Veterans surround us every day, even if we don’t know it. They could be a grandparent, a coworker, a neighbor, or another person who’s a part of our daily lives. These people missed milestones with their families. They may have missed their child’s first steps. Perhaps they missed their first anniversary with their spouse. And they may have watched some moments that will stay with them forever.

Their sacrifices are why we honor them every Veterans Day. So, how did this holiday come to be? And how can we best say thank you to veterans on this day?

Why Do We Celebrate Veterans Day?

Veterans Day didn’t start out as Veterans Day. Originally, it was called Armistice Day . And although it did honor the military, it was celebrated for a different reason than we celebrate Veterans Day. Armistice Day was held in honor of the end of the fighting in World War I, which occurred at 11 a.m. on November 11, 1918. The belief at the time was that World War I would be “the war to end all wars.” But that was far from the truth.

Though Armistice Day celebrations date back to the 1920s, Congress made it a national holiday in 1938. It would be only a year later that Germany would invade Poland, and World War II would begin. The meaning of Armistice Day changed significantly in the recognition that there were more soldiers to honor than those who fought in World War I.

The first celebration called Veterans Day was started by a World War II veteran named Raymond Weeks in 1947. The event was held on Armistice Day, but it was meant to honor all veterans. In 1954, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a bill officially changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day. Although Congress would later try to change the date of Veterans Day to the fourth Monday in October in 1968, it was clear that November 11 remained the true date of Veterans Day in the public’s mind. As a result, the date of the holiday was changed back to November 11 a decade later.

Though Armistice Day honored the soldiers of World War I, Veterans Day, as we celebrate it today, commemorates all veterans for their patriotism and willingness to serve their fellow man. Veterans Day remains a day of reflection upon their service and the sacrifices they made. Veterans Day is often confused with Memorial Day, but Veterans Day is meant to be a day to give support to veterans still with us, while Memorial Day is intended to be for fallen soldiers.

How You Can Honor Veterans on Veterans Day

1. Observe a moment of silence.

In 2016, President Barack Obama signed a law asking Americans to voluntarily pause for two minutes on Veterans Day for a moment of silence . Americans are asked to use this time, which begins at 2:11 p.m. EST, to reflect upon the sacrifices made by veterans to protect and honor America and our freedoms. While this moment of silence is not mandatory, it’s a way to show respect for the veterans among us.

2. Volunteer at a VA hospital or nursing home.

The Department of Veterans Affairs, or the VA, hosts many facilities across the country that provide care to returning veterans, including hospitals and nursing homes. Although these locations need support year-round, Veterans Day is a great time to volunteer because many of these facilities host events in honor of the day. Call your local VA hospital or nursing home to ask how you can help. Even if no events are being held, you can make a veteran's day by simply spending time with them at these locations.

3. Recognize the veterans around you.

One of the most important things to do on Veterans Day is to recognize the sacrifices of the veterans around you. You have veterans all around you, perhaps even in your own family. Be sure to thank these people for their service, but you can also go a step further and show your thanks through acts of kindness. Maybe your neighbor is a veteran. Give them a token of thanks, such as flowers or baked goods, or invite them over for a meal in their honor. Do what you can to show kindness and support to veterans on Veterans Day.

4. Organize a Care Package Party.

Veterans Day is also about recognizing those who are still serving, who are missing home and the comforts within it. Many organizations ship care packages to soldiers overseas to give them some of these comforts. Get involved with these organizations by rallying some of your friends and family to put together care packages for these troops. If you know someone personally in the military, you may send packages to them for them to distribute to their troop, or you can let one of the care package organizations mail your gifts to other soldiers for you.

5. Raise funds for veteran-related charities.

Donating what you have is a wonderful way of showing support, but you can go further by asking others to donate around you. Try organizing a fundraiser to raise money for veteran-based charities or your local VA office. You will likely need to take several days beyond Veterans Day to put this fundraiser together.

Remember that Veterans Day is a day of recognizing sacrifice. More than the veteran themselves sacrificed to protect this country. Many charities support the other lives that are touched by military duty, such as a spouse who is taking care of the home while their partner is overseas or a child who will miss the holiday season with their parent. Since Veterans Day is close to the winter holidays, you may consider using your Veterans Day fundraiser to acquire gifts to provide to struggling families who won’t see their soldier during the holiday season. Supporting veterans is also about supporting the people they love. So, pick a charity that touches you and provides help to soldiers and those they love alike.

Your community may already have events planned to raise funds for specific groups. If you would rather not create your own fundraiser, contact the organizers and ask how you can get involved. Donating your time is as valuable as donating your other resources.

When we celebrate Veterans Day, we’re saying thank you to those who stood as our protectors. So, be sure to thank a veteran on Veterans Day, and thank those who sacrificed alongside them, like their families. The smallest actions, such as spending time sitting down with a veteran in a nursing home, can mean the most to these heroes.

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Coping with Winter Holidays After Losing a Loved One

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 16:06:37 GMT

The winter holidays are often considered a time to be with family. And that feeling can be particularly hard when one family member is missing. Losing a loved one is never easy. And although the strongest symptoms of grief often dissipate within the first few months after the loss, grief can arise again through certain triggers, such as the arrival of the holiday season. Coping with loss during the holidays can look different for every person and every family, but these tips can give you someplace to start.

7 Ways to Cope With the Holidays While Grieving a Loved One

1. Talk about your loved one.

The winter holidays are often viewed as a time for good cheer. Everything is merry and bright, right? You may feel inclined to avoid talking about subjects that make you feel not so joyous, such as the loss of someone you love. But talking about your loved one may actually make you feel lighter. Sharing cherished memories among your family makes it feel like your loved one is with you.

Mourning a loss can be very confusing. You may feel like you’re not supposed to smile and laugh because your loved one is no longer physically with you. But it’s not only okay to share memories that make you smile, but it’s also healthy and may help you through the grieving process. Talking about your loved one with your family is also a bonding experience. You’ll bond both through grief and your love of the person you’re all missing.

2. Skip holiday events if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

The holidays can often be a busy time. Maybe you were invited to a holiday party at work, several family gatherings, and New Year’s Eve event with your friends. All of that social interaction can be draining even when you’re not mourning a loved one, but during a year where you lost someone you love, you may just need to opt out of a few events.

Although talking to people you love can help you grieve, you may also need time to yourself. While we often view the holidays as a time for gathering with the people we love, it’s more than okay to take a step back. Your family and friends will understand.

3. Let go of expectations.

Movies, shows, books, paintings, songs, and all other forms of media most often portray the winter holidays as a time of merriness, when everyone is happy together and celebrating being with one another. But the vision of the holidays we see on TV isn’t always the way things actually pan out. Especially after losing a loved one, the holidays can remind you how much you miss them. Thanks to the idealized version of the holidays we’re surrounded by, we may feel wrong about being sad during this season.

It’s best to try to let go of expectations. The more you think you’re not celebrating the holidays right, the more you’ll chastise yourself for how you feel. Then that vicious cycle will just make you feel worse. It’s okay to cry during the holidays. It’s okay to miss the people you love. And it’s okay if your holiday doesn’t feel like the perfect vision you have in your head.

4. Join a grief group or talk to a mental health professional.

Talking to your family about your loved one may make you feel a little better while you’re missing them, but you may also want to address your grief directly. Grief groups can help you connect with other people who are missing their loved ones during the holiday season. You’ll feel less alone knowing you’re not the only one feeling this way. And you may learn tips from people who have been in your shoes about the best way to handle the holiday season.

You may also consider talking with a therapist or a grief counselor. Although it’s good to talk about your loved one with family and friends, it’s not always a great idea to share all of what you’re feeling with them. They may be experiencing their own grief and may not be well-equipped to address both yours and theirs. But by talking with a licensed professional, you can be completely honest about how you’re feeling and receive individualized help and attention to assist you through the holidays.

5. Change your holiday routine.

Sometimes, we find comfort in the familiar. You may want to keep the same holiday routine that you’re used to. But it’s okay to decide to change things. After losing a loved one, you may find it challenging to do what you used to do over the holiday season. Maybe you used to bake hundreds of cookies with your grandmother and give them out as gifts to the neighbors. But now that you’re doing all the baking on your own, you may find yourself overwhelmed by the process and by the fact that you’re missing your grandmother.

It can be hard to let go of this routine. You may feel like you’re letting others down. But it’s vital that you take the steps you need to take care of yourself, even if that means changing what you’re used to doing. While you may not want to get rid of every tradition, you may want to make some adjustments for the sake of your mental health.

6. Practice self-care.

Self-care is often used as a buzzword, and many people picture it to mean indulging in treats. But you may want to consider self-care a different way around the holidays. When people are grieving, they can sometimes overindulge, especially in food and alcohol. But after drinking or overeating, they may feel worse than they did when they started.

When we say self-care, we mean taking care of your mental and physical health. That can look different for every person. Maybe that means for you that you need to take some time out of every day to be alone. Or maybe that means finding time to exercise or do a craft that brings you joy. While it’s okay to indulge in the occasional treat, remember that your health needs to be your priority. The more you take care of your mental and physical health, the more you’ll be able to cope with the grief that you’re feeling.

7. Acknowledge your loss and include your loved one in a new tradition.

Remembering your loved one can help you to get through this holiday season. Because we feel like we have to put on the perfect holiday, we may feel inclined to try to focus on happier topics than loss. But the more we try to bury how we’re feeling, the worse we may feel. As you switch up the routine this holiday season, you may want to consider finding a way to incorporate the spirit of your loved one into the festivities.

For some people, that may mean lighting a candle or leaving a chair open for them during dinner. But there are many ways to honor your loved one over the holidays. Consider adopting a family to provide gifts with in your loved one’s name. Or you could volunteer with their favorite charity. Or, even more simply, you could bake their favorite recipe so your family can eat the treat they’ve always associated with your loved one.

Despite what we’re often shown in media, the holiday season can be a very trying time. Because it’s so associated with family and being together, it can be especially hard remembering that you can’t be with someone you love and so greatly miss. However, you’re not alone in how you feel. And remember that it’s okay to be happy too. Although there’s nothing wrong with mourning a loved one over the holidays, there’s also nothing wrong with finding some joy in the holiday season, even when you miss them.

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What Does it Mean to Have Funeral Wishes on File?

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 18:41:51 GMT

According to Oxford Languages … a wish is a desire or hope for something to happen. When it comes to funeral service, having funeral wishes on file means that one has shared what they hope to have happen in regard to their funeral service with a funeral professional who has made note, created a file, and retained it at the funeral home.

Usually included in the expressed wishes will be a preference for final disposition: the desire to be either buried or cremated. If the desire is to be cremated, also included will be what will be done with the cremated remains. Will they be buried, scattered, or retained? Next will be the funeral service itself. Some people will go into great detail preselecting readings and music. Others will leave general instructions and leave it to the family to sort out the details. The wishes kept on file are a roadmap for the family to follow.

While having wishes on file is usually a much-appreciated gift of guidance for families, wishes are not legally binding. Legally speaking, the person who signs the funeral contract determines and is financially responsible for what occurs in the funeral service.

Wishes on file are only helpful if the people who will be making decisions when you die know about them. When you make your plan with your funeral director, be sure to ask for a copy of the plan. Let your family know you have left instructions. Be sure they know the name of the funeral home that you expect to oversee your service. Be certain that the copy of your wishes is in the hands of a responsible family member and that all of those who would be likely to be involved in making your funeral arrangements are aware of your desire.

Most often, funerals are paid for by the estate of the deceased. This means the executor of the estate will determine the scope of the funeral service. If there is no executor, responsibility usually follows the bloodline. Each state has laws regarding who is in charge of and responsible for payment for funeral services. Most often it will be the spouse, followed by the oldest surviving child, who will make decisions.

A pre-paid funeral plan, often referred to as a funded advance funeral plan, typically carries more weight with survivors than wishes on file. Most families will execute funded plans as written. Funded plans are also taken more seriously by the person who made them. They tend to be very clearly communicated to family members and kept in a secure, accessible location. Wishing for something is one thing; having paid for it is another. If it is important to you that your wishes are carried out, you should speak to your funeral professional about funding your funeral wishes.

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What Happens at a Visitation?

Sat, 19 Oct 2024 13:38:15 GMT

Human beings are social. We crave the company of others. During times of stress our friends comfort us, they listen to us, and share our troubles. When someone we love dies, we need our people.

Many faith communities, both ancient and modern, understand this need. They have, as a part of their death care ritual, a time for the bereaved to receive friends. This may take place before a funeral service, or in some religions the time for the bereaved to mingle with friends takes place after the funeral service and burial.

Dr Alan D Wolfelt describes a mourning ritual as a “symbolic activity that helps us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life’s most important events.” In Jewish tradition, the family “sits shiva” for seven days following the service and burial. Irish Catholics gather for a “wake.”

Visitation is a mourning ritual.

A Visitation is the less formal part of a funeral. It often takes place the evening or morning before the more structured part of the funeral service. The Visitation provides the opportunity for friends of the bereaved family to offer condolences, hugs, and express their love and respect for the person who died.

It is also a time for people who knew the person who died but perhaps are not known to the family to express their feelings to the family. This opportunity to feel the embrace and hear the words of people who knew the one we loved is a very powerful, sometimes overlooked, and often most healing part of the funeral ritual.

When a daughter or husband meets someone outside of the family who knew their mother as a co-worker or mentor or teacher and hears how the mother they loved impacted this other life, it has deep meaning. For many it is the most powerful, most comforting, aspect of the funeral ritual.

Each part of the funeral - the religious traditions, the eulogy, the celebration of the life, the burial or cremation and the visitation - has a purpose. If you are planning a funeral for a loved one, speak with your funeral director about all of the parts of the mourning ritual.

If you are attending a visitation, prepare before you go. Think about the person who died. How did you know them? Did they teach you? Did they help you? Did they comfort you? Did they make you laugh? Did they make your day better? When you attend the visitation, be sure to make the effort to introduce yourself to family members and share how you knew their loved one and how he or she made you feel, made you better, or made you laugh.

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How Can We Honor our Family Member Who Died and Keep the Holiday Celebratory?

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 12:57:50 GMT

There are those people in our lives who we connect with on certain holidays. When we think of Christmas, Hanukkah, or the 4 ^th of July, this person comes to mind. It might be the cookies they baked, the blessing they said, or the fireworks show they were known for. Regardless of what they did, it is difficult to imagine the holiday without this person. Celebrating the holiday, especially for the first time, following their death can be hard. The goal is not to lose the celebratory nature of the holiday in the void created by the death of the person we loved. It is to incorporate the memory into the celebration of the holiday.

1. PLAN IN ADVANCE

Contact those who will share the holiday with you. Talk about what you want the holiday celebration to look and feel like. Do you want to preserve all the traditions? What did your loved one do that made the day special? What jobs will need to be reallocated in your loved one’s absence? Be proactive. Don’t wait for the holiday to fall flat because along with the death of the person you loved you also lose family traditions that are precious to you and define the holiday for your family.

When you are talking with your family members, use Dr. Steven Covey’s 5 ^th habit of highly successful people … seek first to understand and then to be understood. Use your questions. Ask what others want before you tell them what you want.

Remember when you text or make that phone call, you do not have any idea of the environment in which it lands. It might be received right in the middle of a child’s melt-down over homework, or the dog having an accident on the floor, who knows? Ease into the topic. You are thinking about how the holiday will be celebrated. The recipient of your message is probably not. It’s important that you set out on the right foot. Put a frame around your intent. “I want us to have the best holiday possible this year, could we set aside a time to talk about how we can work together to make that happen?”

Take extra care. Expect that this will be a tender time for all family members. Choose your words wisely, practice forgiveness when you need to, be kind, and listen.

2. KEEP THE TONE POSITIVE

Remember what the person you loved and lost really did that made the holiday special. Remember what they loved about the day and incorporate that into your celebration. For example, let’s say Dad always decorated the tree the week after Thanksgiving. Fill the void. Gather the grandchildren, the family, and maybe a few friends for a tree decorating party. Share a few Dad stories and get the tree put up in the warm glow of family and friendship.

When your sister-in-law offers to make the sweet potatoes, understand that they may not be just like mom’s sweet potatoes. If it is critical to the holiday’s success that they are MOM’S sweet potatoes, pull Mom’s recipe in advance and ask your sister-in-law if she would make them. If it’s not critical, enjoy a new sweet potato adventure. Avoid bringing the day down over little things. Instead, focus on what is really important and was important to your loved one.

3. REMEMBER WITH INTENTION

Most importantly, focus on what the person who died added to your lives and the holiday. Talk about what they did, what they loved, how they added to your life. When you are planning in advance for your holiday, decide how you will remember the person who died. Perhaps the touch football game after dinner will be dedicated to Dad’s memory. Or maybe, in honor of Mom’s love for flowers, you ask that each family member bring a stem for your table decoration. Maybe you all decide to share a memory before dessert. There are many ways to remember. Let your happy, fond, special memories be the focus of your day. Rather than the loss you all share.

4. EMBRACE THE NEW

Lean into the changes. Allow yourself to enjoy what you have. The family and friends who are with you, the turkey roll instead of the whole bird, the pumpkin cheesecake instead of the pumpkin pie, paper napkins instead of cloth. Whatever the changes are, just look for the love that went into the preparation and bask in its glow.

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What’s the Benefit of Paying for My Funeral in Advance?

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 20:15:17 GMT

Planning for your end-of-life ceremony, your funeral, has many benefits. Some of them are practical, some are emotional, and some are financial. For some, planning in advance actually helps them live a better, more purpose-driven life.

When a person pushes past the discomfort of considering their own mortality and considers how they would like to be remembered, it can tighten the focus about how they are living life now. If one wants to be remembered as a good parent or kind person, what are they doing today to support that goal?

Planning the ceremony as well as setting the tone and direction of the service that takes place can be done with or without paying for the funeral in advance. However, there are some often overlooked advantages to paying for your funeral before death occurs.

Side-Step Inflation

We all understand that financial considerations change as the times change. We all know costs tend to increase overtime. Just 20 years ago in 2000, a loaf of bread cost on average $1.99. Twenty years before that in 1980, it cost $0.50. Today, well you know, it costs more. Funerals also inflate in cost over time. That cost increases at a much slower rate (6.6% 2016 to 2021 according to the NFDA) than the bread, but still, the cost increases. When planning in advance, be sure to ask your advance planning funeral professional how you can pay in advance and avoid the impact of future cost increases.

Cover the Cost / Pay in Affordable Increments

When a person dies and the family plans and pays for the funeral, the full cost is typically required before the service takes place. Covering the cost of an advance funeral plan can be done in affordable flexible payments. Many funeral homes offer programs that will cover the entire cost should you die during the payment period. When planning in advance, ask your advance funeral planning professional about payment plans.

Remove the Emotion from the Cost

The death of a family member, a spouse, or a parent is a crushing emotional experience. We should feel … and we do. However, it is not necessarily a good time to make buying decisions. Emotions are high, we loved in full and all too often that makes us equate spending more with our overflowing love. Plans made and paid for in advance are completed in an atmosphere of emotional neutrality. Choices are still made with love, but they are not charged with emotion.

Eliminate the Financial Responsibility for Family

Even if you are leaving a good size estate for your family, those funds may not be available until the estate is settled. This can take months. Some states require probate or an estate to be settled in a specified time frame while others have no requirements. This can extend the time it takes for the estate to settle to a year or more. The family has the responsibility for covering the cost of the funeral while they wait for inheritance to be distributed.

When a person pushes past the discomfort of facing their own mortality and not only plans but also funds their funeral in advance, they not only set the tone and direction of the service, they also assure that the cost of the funeral reflects their values. Those who lived frugally, or modestly, or were fortunate enough to be able to spend with exuberance can be sure their funeral reflects the life they lived.

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When Someone Dies, Someone Else Feels Lonely

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 17:38:58 GMT

The loneliness that accompanies the death of someone we care about is complex and individual. For those who, for many years, woke every morning alongside a husband or wife, it is strange to open your eyes and realize you’re alone. In the early days of grief, the void that is left when a life partner dies can feel like a black hole with no way out.

A grieving person can even feel lonely in a crowd. The loneliness that comes with grief is not just because you are without company—it is because you are not with the person you want to be with. Loneliness is one of the most difficult feelings of grief because it is not a choice. It’s not the same as deciding to be alone or to have quiet time. Unlike solitude, which can be restful and even reenergizing, loneliness saps a person’s energy and feels heavy.

It is important to remember that grieving is work. It is a verb. Griefwork is something we do. Its goal is not to forget the person we loved—it is to weave the loss into a healthy life moving forward. The antidote for loneliness is to engage with people. It may be difficult at first but over time and with consistent effort, the heaviness will lift, and you will emerge. The work is to keep going, keep engaging, and make small efforts.

Return to activities that you enjoyed in the past … reconnect with friends, work, church. Stick with it. It may be difficult to concentrate at first or hard to engage in what might feel frivolous now. But give it a little time and give yourself a little time. Your enthusiasm for an activity you liked in the past is likely to come back with a little time.

Volunteer … doing something that helps others is a wonderful way to step out of your own concerns.

Speak to the people who serve you … Say a few words to the checkout person at the grocery. Thank the waitress. As you drive through the bank or to get your coffee, just say good morning or have a nice day or thank you. Every little connection helps.

Keep a journal … Express your feelings. It will help.

Check your calendar … Be sure you have something scheduled at least once a week that will require you to engage with others. As the song lyrics go … “People who need people are the luckiest people.”

Listen to music … If the silence is deafening, get some background music going.

Eat your elephant one bite at a time … Give yourself a task or three to complete each day. Make a list or write them in your journal. Tick your tasks off as you complete them. That little check mark can be very satisfying and giving yourself a few small things to get done each day can keep you from being overwhelmed.

Ask … Ask a friend out for lunch or to a movie or for a walk. Ask for help with some of your tasks.

Consider grief counseling … Too often we think we only get counseling help when we are at the end of our tether. We wait until we are suffering greatly. Why not acknowledge early on that grieving is going to be difficult and get help sooner rather than later? There really is no need to wait until one hits the bottom of a well to reach for a helping hand. Find someone who specializes in grief counseling. If you don’t know where to find such a person, check with your funeral director. He or she will likely be familiar with services available in your area.

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I’m Lonely: When is Too Soon to Start Dating?

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 16:12:40 GMT

The answer to this question depends on who you ask. Queen Victoria famously mourned Prince Albert by wearing black for the remainder of her life, forty years. The fictional character Scarlet O’Hara in the novel Gone With the Wind scandalized her peers by dancing with a bachelor at a charity event while “still in black.” The “approved mourning period” of the time was two years and six months. In our time, for most of us, there is no prescribed time period for mourning. In other words, deciding when to start dating after the death of a spouse is personal. Some are ready in a matter of weeks— others, never.

While deciding when to start seeing someone after losing a spouse is a personal decision, it is still best to do a little self-reflection before jumping in. Dating is not likely to bring your feeling of loss to an end. It may help to think of the dating experience like dancing. Suppose a person really likes to dance, maybe they have a partner they have been dancing with for many years. The two of them have, over the years, developed a comfortable routine. When they take to the floor, the ebb and flow just happens. It is mindless, it is easy. They are in a comfortable groove. They have done this a countless number of times before. The same dance, with a new and different dance partner, may allow the dancer to participate in the joy of the dance, but it will not be the same.

Dating with the expectation of replacing the person who died or the feeling you had with them is not likely to work. Not only will you be disappointed in the experience, but it is also not fair to the new person you are bringing into your life. In order for dating to be a good experience, it must be undertaken with an open mind and a level of curiosity. Dating is about getting to know someone new.

Getting to know a new person takes time, and it is a bit of work. Be sure you are up to the task. Be mindful of the idea that dating will also require that you are ready to be known. To be open and ready to share who you are with someone new. These are not easy things to do. Especially when a person has been in a long marriage where needs and wants had become second nature. Your spouse knew you. A new person will have no idea that you drink your coffee black, sleep in on Sunday, always use cloth napkins, and never miss Jeopardy.

It is not unusual for the widower or widow to be out of sync with family members as to when is the right time to seek the companionship dating may provide. For children, even when they are grown children, having a parent dating can be a hard pill to swallow. The emotions they feel may cover a wide range from fear for your safety to fear of losing you to a new love. Before jumping into the dating pool, take a little time to center yourself and prepare your family. The preparation you undertake may make the experience easier and more rewarding for all.

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After the Death of a Spouse: 10 Things to Do BEFORE You Start Dating

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 13:15:38 GMT

1. Slow down and commit to investing some time in getting ready to date. A little preparation work will help you protect your safety, have a more pleasurable dating experience, and possibly avoid heartbreak.

2. Start a list of what you are looking for in a relationship. Do you want another marriage? Do you want a movie and dinner partner? Take your time with this step. Make your list, let it marinate for a while, and then go back and review what you wrote and add or subtract as needed. Consider sharing your list with your counselor, clergy person, or a trusted friend. This is a very important step. If you don’t know what you want … you are unlikely to get what you need.

3. What are your absolute deal breakers? This should be a short list but significant because if they are deal breakers, you’ll have to break the deal (a.k.a. stop seeing this person) if even one of them happens. Hopefully they will not, but if they do, you’ll be tempted to rationalize them away. And just so you know, if it’s there, it’s never going to not be there. A gambler will be a gambler, a smoker will be a smoker, one who lies will always lie. Asking for your money, for any reason, should absolutely be a dealbreaker.

4. Do your safety research especially if you are going to participate in on-line dating. BE VERY CAREFUL. There are trolls on all social media sites looking to scam vulnerable people. Use only vetted dating sites. Make sure someone knows where you are going to meet, pick a public place, and don’t give out your home address.

5. Now that you know why you want to begin to date, what you are hoping for, what you are not going to tolerate and how you will protect your safety, it might be a good time to share your intention to date with the kids. If they know what you are looking for and how you will protect yourself, they just might be more supportive of your dating adventure.

6. As you get to know the new person, be gentle. If it’s not a deal breaker then it’s just something to lean in to. Unless it is something that scares you, then it should have been a deal breaker!

7. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t be afraid to introduce your new person to activities you enjoy.

8. Keep an eye on YOU. Do you like how you are changing? Do you like how you are feeling? You should love yourself more in a good relationship.

9. Maintain a comfortable pace. If the person you are dating is moving too fast or too slow for you, speak up.

10. Finally, enjoy. Remember every step of the journey … is the journey.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Make Sure the Tough Days are Covered

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 16:31:20 GMT

Supporting a friend who is grieving requires staying power. In the first few weeks and days following the funeral, our thoughts are full of our friend. But often, as the weeks become months, our friend’s need is less acute, and our own routine calls us. We forget.

We forget that even when most of our friend’s days have evened out, some are likely to be difficult for a long while. Holidays, their birthday, the birthday of the person who died, and other special occasions might be hard well into the future or even as long as they live. Special days can cause grief to bubble up and feel fresh again.

While the death is still top of mind, gather those dates. The ones you know are special for your friend. Make a note wherever you keep your appointments, be it written on the calendar or in your phone. Flag the dates that are important to your friend. Give yourself a little advance notice so that you have a little lead time to make a plan with your friend for that day.

When you call to book a date, begin the conversation with a suggestion and follow with being open to what they may prefer. Something like, “I know your anniversary is coming up next week. What if we did lunch and a movie, or is there something else you would wish to do?” A newly bereaved person may find it difficult to come up with an idea on their own out of the blue. It just may be too much for them, so you offer a suggestion. But, then again, maybe they have thought about it and would just appreciate your company for what they plan to do or would like your support in another way. For example, sometimes a grieving person would like company when they visit the cemetery, and sometimes, they may prefer to go alone but might like to meet up for a cup of coffee later.

Go easy. If your friend isn’t able to wrap their head around that date when you make your call, give them time. They may need to let the idea settle in. If you encounter hesitancy, offer to check back later or let them know you are going to hold that date, just in case they would like your company when the time comes.

Also, remember everyone grieves on their own timeline. We often think of the first year following the funeral as “the hard year.” The first year after a death is often difficult, but grief does not end magically after twelve months for most people. For many, those special dates continue to remind them of love and loss ever after.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

What Happens if Funeral Costs Increase After I Pay for My Funeral Plan?

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 18:03:31 GMT

The answer to that question depends on several different factors. Who did you pay? What were the terms of your agreement? It is ALWAYS a good idea to ask this question BEFORE you enter into an agreement. It is also ALWAYS a good idea to check in with the funeral home of your choice BEFORE you make any financial decision regarding payment of your funeral in advance. Because the funeral home will be the service provider, they will have options that others (final expense insurance, standard life insurance, savings accounts) cannot possibly offer.

This is because the scope of the funeral home’s offering is tighter. You will be funding just the cost of your funeral. The funeral home will most likely have the best option for payment of the funeral in advance. In most cases, you will be offered the opportunity to “cost guarantee” all of the goods and services provided directly by the funeral home.

This means the services, including the transfer of the deceased into the care of the funeral home, the preparation of the body, the funeral service, and the products, such as the casket and vault provided by the funeral home, will be protected from inflation. In this case, if the cost of the funeral increases after you pay for your funeral, the funeral home will provide the services and products agreed to, even if the funding mechanism falls short of current prices. There will be no additional cost to your family.

So, while funding your funeral at the funeral home will not provide funds for end-of-life medical expenses or a cruise for the mourners, it will pay for the funeral you selected. Funeral homes offer plans that pay for funerals because that is all they are providing, and they offer the best plans for this purpose.

Often you will hear or read that you cannot transfer your plan to another funeral provider or change your plan if your needs change. That is just not true. Ask your funeral provider before you purchase a funeral plan. Get all of your questions answered. Your local funeral home has someone on staff who will be pleased to answer all of your questions and help you find the solution that best fits your wants, your family’s needs, and your budget.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Serving a Diverse Community

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 03:41:34 GMT

Funerals are very personal ceremonies. They’re often also religious and cultural occasions, filled with rites and traditions that fit the unique heritage of the person being honored. As the diversity in the United States has continued to increase over the decades, funeral homes have learned to create meaningful services that fit the needs of each family that comes to them in their time of need. When planning a service for your loved one, there are several ways a funeral home will work with you to incorporate your loved one’s unique background.

How Funeral Homes Can Honor Your Loved One’s Heritage

1. Funeral homes will work to help you fulfill your loved one’s final disposition wishes.

Many religions and cultures have different guidelines in relation to how a decedent can journey to their final resting place. Depending on your loved one’s faith, for instance, it may be more traditional to have a burial rather than a cremation. Many religions reinforce the need for a burial, including Islam and Judaism, while some religions, like Hinduism, instead believe that cremation is best for the treatment of our loved ones. Final disposition is a very personal choice, and funeral homes know this. For this reason, funeral homes do their best to ensure that the proper final disposition occurs.

In many cases, it can be hard to make the arrangements for your loved one’s final disposition without the help of a funeral home. Many crematories and cemeteries prefer to work with a funeral director when making these plans. And that’s because funeral directors come with years of experience and know how to navigate the world of after-life care. Whether your loved one wanted a burial or to be cremated due to their cultural or religious beliefs, working with a funeral home ensures that your loved one will receive their wishes.

2. Funeral directors can incorporate pieces of your loved one’s heritage into their funeral services.

Different cultures treat loss in different ways. And those different beliefs lead to different ways in which we say goodbye to the people that we love. Because funeral directors come with years of experience tending to the needs of families of all sorts of cultures, they’re equipped to help you add touches of your loved one’s heritage to their funeral and additional services.

There’s no right way to hold a funeral. For some people, these services are celebrations of life, filled with dance and drink. For others, they’re meant to be more somber, filled with quiet reflections and contemplation of life. Funeral directors are prepared to create services that match the needs of your loved one’s culture, adding touches that are personal to your loved one’s background. For instance, if your loved one was Chinese, you may want to add traditional Chinese funeral elements to their service. You may choose to have incense be burned during the funeral or place white or yellow mums around the service’s room. Or if your loved one wanted a more traditional Mexican funeral, marigolds may be more fitting, as well as the presence of a Mexican funeral band.

Adding these meaningful touches is a big part of the role that a funeral director plays. Your funeral director wants every event they organize to be impactful and as unique as the person it's intended to honor. No matter what your loved one’s heritage was, a funeral director will work to respect it at your loved one’s funeral.

3. Funeral directors will work to ensure that your loved one’s funeral follows the rituals of their religion and background.

Your funeral director has experience planning funerals and other services for people of all different religions and backgrounds, which means that they understand the importance of the rituals that these religions and cultures hold dear. A funeral director will always do their best to ensure that these customs are followed as desired.

These professionals understand that funerals and the services that often accompany them are not one-size-fits-all. Although both Italian families and Mexican families frequently have wakes in addition to funerals, their ceremonies typically look very different. And although both Jewish and Muslim families prefer burial to cremation, the rituals that surround the burials are not the same. From burial ceremonies to eulogies, a funeral director understands that every culture and religion has a different way of saying goodbye to their loved ones.

When you work with a funeral home, you can be sure that you’re working with professionals who understand that you want to honor who your loved one was, including their unique background and beliefs. However you want to incorporate their heritage into their funeral and final disposition, your funeral director will work with you to create something meaningful for you and your family. Funeral homes are driven by a desire to support their communities, and they’re honored to serve diverse families who come from all walks of life.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Eating Alone Is Hard

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 16:03:15 GMT

For a person who has lost a life partner, a husband or a wife, mealtime is often the most challenging time of their day. It is sometimes difficult to muster the desire or skill necessary for meal preparation. Sometimes it is just hard to deal with the expanse of the table when no one else is sharing the space. So, it becomes too much trouble to cook for one or to eat alone.

For the friend who wants to be supportive, there are also challenges. Sometimes we worry that we are not up to challenge. We worry about the conversation … will we know the right thing to say? On the other hand, one may have good intentions but inviting someone over for dinner can make you feel you need to cook something special, or clean the house, or bring in another guest to round out the numbers. So inviting your grieving friend to dinner gets put off.

If you want to support a grieving friend, consider doing something different.

1. The morning coffee. Maybe it is a regular weekly occurrence combined with some form of exercise. A short walk, yoga, or water aerobics followed by coffee and a chat. Or, organize a drop-in group at your local coffee shop for folks who would appreciate a morning boost with a small group of friendly faces.

2. Lunch … lunch is such an underappreciated meal out. Less costly than dinner; it’s a great option. The conversation is just as exhilarating, and it provides a nice break in the day. It is something to look forward to and if you have a big lunch, dinner can just be cheese and crackers. It can also be easier to pull together a small group of two or three for lunch than it is for dinner.

3. A seal-a-meal dinner prep gathering … pull together a few friends who often eat alone or who would just enjoy an occasional night off of dinner prep. Prepare a few different meals in a large enough quantity to divide among the group. Consider cooking some things that are not likely to be prepared for one. Meatloaf, stew, or scalloped potatoes might be too much to make for one person but might be a welcome comfort food. Seal the meals in individual packages for freezing. Everyone takes home a few ready-made dinners and everyone enjoys the company of friends while making the meals.

4. Lower your standards. Invite your grieving friend to share your regular weeknight supper. Nothing special - just what you would be serving anyway. Soup and a sandwich, a little pasta, or just a burger will be just fine. It’s your company that will appreciated. The good dishes or the special dessert is not important at all. Just your face across the table and an opportunity to talk about the mundane happenings of the day will do the trick.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Can I Be Buried with My Beloved Pet?

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 18:27:48 GMT

With 70 percent of United States households owning a pet , it’s no wonder why funeral directors are often asked if someone can be buried with an animal they love so dearly. But pets are more than just animals. They’re part of our families. And just as we want to spend eternity with the people we love, we often want to spend forever with the pets who affected our lives. But can you be buried with your pet? Let’s break down your options.

Can I be buried with my pet?

When it comes to any form of burial, the best way to know for sure what’s allowed is by consulting your state’s laws and contacting the cemetery you’d like to be buried in. For the burial of pets, state laws vary greatly. In most states, it’s not illegal to bury a pet in a human cemetery .

However, most cemeteries do not offer this service, mainly so as not to offend the other families who are burying their loved ones there. In some states, like Pennsylvania, cemeteries may have separate sections for the burials of pets or for the burials of pets with their humans. Some states allow for humans to be buried in pet cemeteries. However, it’s worth noting that most of these situations require the burial of cremated remains, not full-body burials. Most pet cemeteries do not have the space for the full-body burial of humans.

Whole-family cemeteries are working to change that. Whole-family cemeteries acknowledge that pets are a part of the family. Although many of these facilities allow for the full-body burials of both pets and their human companions, the rules and restrictions in each of these cemeteries vary. The advocacy group Green Pet-Burial Society keeps a list of all of the whole-family cemeteries currently in the United States, as well as a list of cemeteries with separate sections where a pet may be buried.

Can my pet’s ashes be placed in my coffin?

If your pet passes before you, one of the easiest ways to be buried together is by placing their cremated remains in your coffin. As with any burial practice, it’s essential to check with the cemetery to ensure that you’re allowed to have a pet’s ashes in your coffin. But, generally, this action is accepted at most cemeteries.

Before you pass, be sure to let your next-of-kin know that you’d like your pet’s cremated remains buried with you. Your next-of-kin should provide the ashes to your funeral director to ensure that the pet’s cremated remains go where they need to go on the day of the funeral. Your funeral director should check with the cemetery to be sure that the ashes are allowed if you have not already cleared your decision with the cemetery yourself.

What happens if I pass before my pet does?

In most cases, if you pass before your pet does, a cemetery will not exhume your body to then bury your pet with you. However, in whole-family cemeteries , you can arrange for your pet to be buried with you at a later time. Green Pet-Burial Society advocates for you to set up a pet trust, which allows you to organize and fund the future care of your pet in the event of your passing or inability to care for the animal. Be sure to make your wishes for your pet’s burial clear to the future carer, and only choose a caretaker you fully trust to tend to your pet.

Sadly, some people choose to euthanize their pets to ensure that they can be buried together, which is a significant reason why the Green Pet-Burial Society promotes the use of a whole-family cemetery. Because a pet can be buried at a later date, their caretaker does not have to be concerned about an inability to be buried together if they pass on before their pet.

One of the easiest ways to be buried with your pet is by placing their ashes in your coffin. However, if your pet does not pass before you do, you may want to consider looking into whole-family cemeteries and make a plan for your pet’s future care and burial. If you have a beloved pet that you’d like to be buried with, talk to your funeral director about your options. They may have additional ideas about where and how you and your companion can spend forever together.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Dealing with Grief on a Loved One’s Birthday

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 18:08:48 GMT

Grief isn’t a linear process. Although the first few months after a loss are typically the hardest, specific events and occasions can trigger the return of those difficult emotions. One such day is your loved one’s first birthday after they pass. A day that was usually reserved for celebrations can become much heavier. Although everyone grieves differently, these tips may help you get through this trying day.

5 Tips for Grieving on a Loved One’s Birthday

1. Talk to friends and family about honoring the day.

Losing a loved one affects people in different ways, but for many people, being alone in their grief isn’t the best way to take care of themselves. Celebrating your loved one’s birthday after they’re no longer physically with you may not look the same as those celebrations used to look. But some people take comfort in continuing to honor the day, even if it’s in a new way. Before the day arrives, talk to your friends and family about potential ideas for being together on your loved one’s birthday.

You have many different options for spending the day together, and it’s up to you if you want the day to be somber or more celebratory. Some families prefer to simply get together like you would for any birthday party. They break out their loved one’s favorite foods, bake their favorite birthday cake, and even sing “Happy Birthday” to their loved one. While this more joyous celebration may work for some families, others prefer a softer affair. Some families plan trips to the cemetery where their loved one is buried, bringing them gifts of flowers for their special day.

There’s no wrong way to use this day to honor your loved one’s memory. The best thing to do is talk to your family and friends about what they’d like to do and feel most comfortable doing. Although everyone deals with grief differently, it’s also a collective experience, so you should do your best to be patient with one another and recognize that not everyone will want to grieve the way that you do. And if you yourself would rather grieve alone, that’s okay too.

2. Do something in their memory.

Although your loved one may not physically be with you, their memory lives on. To help you in your grief, you may want to do something to honor that memory on their birthday. Think about the things that your loved one enjoyed in life. What places did they love to go? What were they happiest doing?

Perhaps your loved one enjoyed sleeping under the stars. Schedule a camping trip for their birthday and stare up at the night sky just as they have done so many times before. Or maybe your loved one was an avid dog lover. You could plan to volunteer at a dog shelter and spend some time cuddling the pups like they loved to do. You can even create a tradition of doing these things or going to these places on your loved one’s birthday, which may make future birthdays a little easier. Sometimes the routine of having a tradition can take you out of your head and make you less likely to feel alone.

Planning an entire day honoring your loved one’s memory may not be possible, but you can still take simple steps to feel your loved one around you. You could light a candle in their honor, cook their favorite dinner, or simply look through photo albums.

3. Write them a birthday card.

It may feel silly to write a card that you can’t send. But writing about how you’re feeling can be a very therapeutic process. By writing your loved one a birthday card, you can share your thoughts in a judgment-free place. You can say how much you miss them and tell them all the things you wish you could say to them in person. Writing a birthday card may be an emotional experience, so be sure you’re in the right headspace before you begin and take breaks if you need them. And if you just can’t bring yourself to finish the card, that’s okay too.

It’s up to you to do what you’d like with the card. You may want to hold every birthday card you write in a special place in your house. In most cases, you can also bring the card to your loved one’s grave, depending on the cemetery’s rules.

4. Make a plan to spend time reflecting on your grief.

It’s essential that you allow yourself to feel how you feel. Perhaps the only truly wrong way to grieve is by telling yourself that you’re not allowed to grieve. Whatever you feel, whether it be bittersweetness, anger, sadness, or something else entirely, is not incorrect. You need to acknowledge those emotions instead of attempting to bury them. Even if your family plans a celebratory day in your loved one’s honor, you should still take some time for yourself to let yourself ride through your own emotions.

You may want to consider scheduling an appointment with a mental health professional to start the day of your loved one’s birthday. That meeting can help set you on a path of understanding the complex feelings that you may be dealing with. You should also take time to engage in self-care, which can look different for everyone. You may want to take a long walk, rest in a hot bath, or spend a bit of time lost in a book. Always make sure to budget in time to allow your mind to take care of itself.

5. Spread joy in their name.

Birthdays are generally considered joyous occasions. But the birthdays that come after someone has passed typically take on a more bittersweet or outright sad note. Doing something for others is a way to help bring back some of the merriment. Many different non-profit organizations allow you to donate gifts to someone who would otherwise not receive them for their birthday. By taking part, you’re spreading birthday wishes around the world. You could also volunteer for your loved one’s favorite charity or participate in non-profits that bake birthday cakes for kids who otherwise would not have one. These little acts of kindness can make us feel lighter in the face of grief, and you’re also allowing your loved one’s kind spirit to continue to make a difference in the world.

The first birthday after a loved one passes can trigger many kinds of feelings. You may not feel much like celebrating. Let yourself feel however you feel. You may be dealing with symptoms of grief more strongly than you have in some time. Although honoring your loved one’s memory may help you feel a little better, it’s vital that you listen and be patient with yourself. It’s okay to celebrate the day, but it’s also good to recognize when you need some time to be with yourself and your emotions.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

I Can’t Go to the Funeral – What Should I Do?

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Do I Have to Go to the Funeral?

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Does Everyone Go Through the Five Stages of Grief?

Sun, 14 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Attention to Detail Matters in a Funeral Director

Sun, 07 Jul 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Dealing with Grief on the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Passing

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Facing Mortality When Planning Your Own Funeral

Sat, 22 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

What’s a Wake and Why Is It Called That?

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Funny Obituaries

Sat, 08 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Want to Prevent a Family Squabble? Preplan and Prepay for Your Own Funeral

Sat, 01 Jun 2024 04:00:00 GMT

The Different Types of Crypts in a Mausoleum

Sat, 25 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

What’s the Difference Between a Family and Community Columbarium?

Wed, 15 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Catholic Burial Traditions

Sat, 11 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Why Do Catholics Have a Certain Type of Service?

Fri, 03 May 2024 04:00:00 GMT

How Can I Make Changes to My Funeral Plan?

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Where Should You Sit at a Funeral?

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 04:00:00 GMT

What Happens at a Committal Ceremony?

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Grieving When You Can’t Attend the Funeral

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 04:00:00 GMT

Why Have a Funeral Service

Sat, 30 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

The 20 Best Songs to Play at a Funeral

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

5 Things Not to Do When Someone Is Grieving and What to Do Instead

Sat, 16 Mar 2024 04:00:00 GMT

What’s the Best Thing to Say to Someone at a Funeral?

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Who Should Speak at a Funeral?

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

7 Ways to Help When Someone is Going Through Grief

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

What to Do When Someone Dies: Choosing Disposition

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

What Can You Do Before Someone Passes?

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

What Are Funeral Directors Like?

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 05:00:00 GMT

When Does Cremation Take Place? Before the Service?

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Driving by a Funeral Home

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Funeral Humor – Creating Levity in a Stressful Profession

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Cremation After the Funeral Service

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 05:00:00 GMT

Can My Family Change My Funeral Plan After I Die and Keep the Change?

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Feeling Guilty for Feeling Good

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

When Will I Feel Normal Again?

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Guide to Writing a Eulogy

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 05:00:00 GMT

What’s Included in a Funeral Plan?

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Supporting a Friend Who is Grieving

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Veterans: Is My Funeral Paid For?

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Emotions of Grief… Feeling Lonely

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Funerals of Our Presidents

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Can I Put an Urn in a Casket?

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What Should Be Included in a Funeral Program?

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What to do When Someone Dies – Choosing a Funeral Home or Other Deathcare Provider

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What to Do When Someone Dies: Should We Have a Service?

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How to Arrange a Funeral From Afar

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: When Your Loved One Made Funeral Plans in Advance

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: Clear and Open Communication with a Funeral Home

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Do I Need a Permanent Place for my Loved One’s Urn?

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What Helps When You Are Grieving?

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How to Have the Talk (About Death) with a Loved One

Sat, 26 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Communication Tips When a Loved One Passes

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Making Decisions When Families Don’t Get Along

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How Long Does Cremation Take?

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: Videos

Sat, 29 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: Videos

Sat, 29 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How Quickly Do We Need to Have the Service After the Death of a Loved One?

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Does Everyone Have An Autopsy?

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What Are Death Certificates for and How Many Do I Need?

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How To Drive in a Funeral Procession

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Why Do People Pull Over for Funeral Processions?

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What is a Visitation? Is it Different From a Wake or Viewing?

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Details Matter in Funeral Service – You Only Get One Chance to Get it Right

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How Has Technology Changed Funeral Service

Sat, 27 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Memorial Day

Sat, 20 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Who Pays for Funerals that Aren’t Pre-Planned?

Sat, 13 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

A Friend Lost a Loved One – When Can I Call?

Sat, 06 May 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What Will Happen to My Funeral Plan if There is No Body to Bury or Cremate?

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Choosing the Pallbearers

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

What if I Change My Mind About Cremation After I Pre-plan My Funeral?

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Can My Spouse Change My Funeral Plan When I Die?

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Grief - Feeling Indecisive

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Transporting a Deceased Loved One

Sat, 25 Mar 2023 04:00:00 GMT

Feeling Like You’re Losing it (you’re not losing it, you’re grieving)

Sat, 18 Mar 2023 04:00:00 GMT

How to Choose a Casket?

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 05:00:00 GMT

The Many Details a Funeral Director is Responsible For

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Where Should I Buy Flowers for a Funeral

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Attending a Lot of Funerals

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

History of Hearses: What Makes a Hearse Different From a Normal Car?

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

I Have Several Loved Ones’ Urns – What Should I Do?

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Is Go Fund Me the Best Way to Pay for a Funeral?

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

What to Do When You are Attending a Service Outside of Your Faith

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Funeral Remembrance Jewelry … The Old is New Again

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 05:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: What Do You Want People to Remember About Your Loved One?

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: Gathering Pictures

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

What to Do When Someone Dies: What Types of Service Can We Have?

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: Clothing and Accessories

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Moving on (Too) Quickly for Others

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Do You Have to Be a Funeral Director to Work at a Funeral Home?

Fri, 25 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Why Preplanning is a Good Thing for Parents

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

3 Things You Need to Know About Veterans Cemeteries

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

The Changing Face of American Veterans

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Who Should Write the Obituary?

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

How to choose an urn?

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Embalming: What’s the Purpose?

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Embalming: Do I Have To?

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Elements of a Great Obituary

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Preparing for a Funeral: What Should be Buried with a Loved One?

Fri, 23 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What Is the Purpose of the Register Book?

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Why do people have a viewing or open casket?

Fri, 09 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Organ Donation: Who Can Donate?

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Organ Donation: What is the Process?

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What is a Desairologist?

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

The Value of a Cemetery

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Choosing Cemetery Property

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

So You Want to Donate Your Body to Science

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Do I Have to Have a Burial Vault?

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

How to Prepare for a Funeral? Contacting Loved Ones

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What is a Burial Vault?

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Where Can I Scatter the Remains of a Loved One?

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What is Prolonged Grief?

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Is It Okay to Laugh and Smile At a Funeral?

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What Do I Do with the Flowers

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Funeral Jewelry...What is It?

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Grief … Feeling Relief

Fri, 27 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What Happens to My Funeral Plan if I Move?

Fri, 20 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Should You use the Deceased Person’s Name when Talking to Mourners?

Fri, 13 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Mother’s Day

Fri, 06 May 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Making the Initial Contact to a Friend Who has Recently Experienced Loss

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What Happens if I Die Before I Complete the Payments on My Funeral Plan?

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

What Can I Expect When the Casket is Open at a Funeral?

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

The Pace of Grief

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Grief...Feeling Lost

Fri, 01 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Should We Take the Kids to Grand Pop’s Funeral

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Grief - No Right or Wrong in Grief

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Grief … Feeling Angry

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 05:00:00 GMT

How Much Will it Cost to Pre-arrange My Funeral?

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Feeling Scared – The Emotions of Grieving

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

What to Do with Funeral Flowers

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

What to Do When Someone Dies

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 05:00:00 GMT

When will you need to pay for a funeral?

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Am I too young to plan my funeral?

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Three Reasons to Preplan Your Funeral When Your Family Doesn’t Live Close

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

How do you help someone who is grieving when you are grieving yourself?

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

Must I wear black to a visitation or funeral?

Sat, 01 Jan 2022 05:00:00 GMT

What to wear to a funeral has changed and continues to change with time. We are more relaxed, less formal in 2021 than we were even ten years ago. Still some basic principles endure. A funeral is a somber respectful occasion. 1. Unless religion or local tradition dictate, black is no longer required. However subdued colors are always appropriate. 2. That said, in some instances the family may request that guests wear bright colors or even fan attire to reflect the interests of the deceased. Of course, if this happens you will want to honor the wishes of the family. 3. If you are struggling to decide what to wear think about what you would wear to an interview for a job that you really want to land. 4. For ladies a dress, a skirt, or dress slacks will be lovely 5. For gentlemen slacks and a shirt with a collar will do nicely. This is a good time to skip the ball cap. 6. Clean and neat goes without saying. 7. Finally, it’s not about you. It is not your moment to shine. Attendees come to offer comfort or show respect for human life. Think about the principal mourners when choosing your attire. If your grandfather died what you wear should not cause your grandmother to gasp. www.vittstermeranderson.com Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Should I attend the Visitation or the Funeral?

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How to tell your spouse you pre-planned your funeral

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How to Bring Creativity to a Funeral Service

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Top Ten Reasons Your Parents Should Pre-plan Their Funerals

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Many Shades of Green Burial

Sat, 27 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

When is it too late to have a funeral service?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 05:00:00 GMT

3 Things You Need to Know About Veterans Cemeteries

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Burial Vault: What’s the Point?

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Three Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving in Isolation

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Leaving Something in the Casket

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Funeral Word Quiz

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Women in Funeral Service

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Memorial Service – Does My Casket or Urn Need to Be Present?

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Deciding Between Burial and Cremation

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Cheap Funeral Homes

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Cremation Near Me

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Nice Looking Funeral Home Doesn’t Mean Expensive

Fri, 27 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Five Tips to Help You Stop Procrastinating About Planning Your Funeral

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Funeral Home Near Me

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

What is the difference between a Funeral Director, Mortician, Undertaker, and Embalmer?

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Why Plan your funeral in advance?

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Cemeteries – A final resting place

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Is It Bad Luck to Plan Your Funeral in Advance?

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Memorializing an avid gardener

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Planning a Funeral for Someone in Hospice Care

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

What is a Columbarium Niche?

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

How and when do you pay for a funeral?

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It’s a Funeral … Go Ahead and CRY

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

What is Direct Disposition?

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Grief is Real

Fri, 28 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

When your pet dies at home

Fri, 21 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

When a family member dies at home everyone knows exactly who to call. You call the funeral home. When a pet dies at home it can be as simple as a shoebox and a shovel. But that old-fashioned solution does not work for all. Pets come in all sizes. They can be big and heavy. The ground can be hard or even frozen. Pets live in high-rise apartments and condos. For those in need of help who do not know who to call, call the local funeral home and ask for guidance. Many funeral homes know who can help you with pet cremation when burial is not practical or just does not fit the needs. There are specialized cremation services for pets. These facilities are always separate from those that serve humans. Some pet cremation services have products designed to support an owner’s desire to memorialize their pet. Funeral homes often have cremation jewelry available for purchase. Many of these pieces are appropriate for both human and pet remembrance. A locket or bracelet that holds a small amount of the cremated remains can be engraved with the name of the pet who enriched its owner’s life. This is a lovely way to honor the contribution a beloved pet made to the life of his people. www.vittstermeranderson.com Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

65 or over: don’t be a fall statistic

Fri, 14 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Five Themed Funeral Ideas to personalize a funeral

Fri, 07 May 2021 04:00:00 GMT

My Financial Advisor doesn’t think it’s a good idea to preplan my funeral

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

My spouse died: Do I really need to wait a year to move?

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Procrastination and Funeral Planning

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Where Not to Scatter Cremated Remains

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

What is an Ossuary?

Fri, 02 Apr 2021 04:00:00 GMT

To Plan or not to plan your funeral in advance

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Why using a Family Owned Funeral Home Matters

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Choosing the Right Funeral Service: 10 Steps to help you get it right

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Thinking of your own mortality

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Core Values and Funeral Decisions

Fri, 26 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Jack be Nimble & Quick … get your affairs in order!

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How did St. Valentine’s Day get started?

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Hearts, flowers, chocolate, the feast day of a Saint, just what is Valentine’s Day? Some tell us it is a holiday created to brighten the cold dark winter month of February. The holiday goes all the way back to the Romans. The Roman Festival of Lupercalia held in mid-February to celebrate the coming of Spring culminated in a lottery that matched up men and women. It was all about love from the beginning. In the 5th century Pope Gelasius I changed the festival to Saint Valentine’s Day, but the love stuck. Saint Valentine’s Feast Day was associated with courtly love. By the 14th century Valentine’s Day was a day to celebrate romance. Flowers, cards, and chocolate were soon to follow. Today, on Valentine’s Day we still celebrate love. What could be better? What is more important than those we love? On February 14th we push the pause button on the demands of life and make telling our husbands, wives, children, parents, brothers, sisters, and friends they are important to us and we love them. It is a little holiday. It does not take a lot to let someone know they are loved. Remember you will not have these people forever. Take a minute or two to share the love! www.vittstermeranderson.com Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Five Tips to Help with the Year of Firsts

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 05:00:00 GMT

How to get the funeral you want

Fri, 29 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

What helps when a person is sad?

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Should we have an open casket?

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Why not call the funeral director?

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

What is a Green Funeral?

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Navigating the New Year 2021

Sat, 26 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Christmas after the death of a loved one

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Expressions of condolences

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Five “to dos” when you hit 70

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

How often do I need to change the Furnace Filter?

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Three things you need to know about THANKSGIVING

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Holiday Conversations

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Funeral Service and Veterans Benefits

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Do I need an “final resting place”?

Fri, 30 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Jewish Funeral Traditions

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Routine is a Live Saver

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What to expect when your Catholic friend dies.

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Where did summer go?

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

After the funeral…what to look forward to

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Trouble Sleeping After A Loss

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Celebrity Funerals and Ceremonies

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Why children should be included in a funeral.

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Planning a Memorial Service: Do it yourself or call the funeral director?

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

When where you live is not where you want to be buried

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

There is a Vitality

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Thinking No Funeral? Think Again.

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

When a Child’s Pet Dies

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What is a Celebration of Life?

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

How Can we Use Pictures at a Funeral?

Fri, 24 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Cooking for One …The Perfect Egg

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Choosing Music for a Funeral

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Who Becomes a Funeral Director?

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Independence Day

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What Does the Embalming Room Look Like?

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Honoring Dad on Father’s Day

Fri, 12 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Three things to include in your funeral plan

Fri, 05 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Top Three Priorities for Those who are Grieving

Fri, 29 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Planning for Cremation

Fri, 22 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

The Changing Face of American Veterans

Fri, 15 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What is PTSD?

Fri, 08 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

What to Give Mom for Mother’s Day

Fri, 01 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Why don’t we celebrate life while the person is alive?

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

The best gift ever for your adult kids

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Gifts that please, surprise, are useful, and don’t break the bank are hard to come by. So, here’s one that no one will see coming. What if you could give the gift of being prepared? You can. All you have to do is call the funeral home and get on the schedule to speak to the preneed person/advance funeral planner. Just get all your questions answered. Get a plan written and on file at the funeral home. That way everyone knows who to call, what to do, and maybe even how it’s all going to be paid for when the time comes. Does your family need this gift? Here’s a test. When you order a pizza does everyone want the same toppings? If your family takes a bit to decide or you always order half this and half that, a funeral plan will be a terrific gift. If your family is blended, then absolutely this is a perfect gift. If yours is a second marriage, for sure they’ll all appreciate this gift one day. Even if your kids are all equally successful, agree on everything, and belong to the same church, they will still love this gift! No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated. www.vittstermeranderson.com Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Opportunity

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Social Distancing, Weddings and Funerals

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Moving on with life after the death of a loved one

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Age-Associated Financial Vulnerability

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Making the funeral about the one who died

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Embalming … What Funeral Directors Do

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 05:00:00 GMT

The best insurance purchase you will ever make

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

The storm passes and we are once again caught up in our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to. However, there is one kind of insurance you will absolutely use. You’ll get more than you paid in, and you don’t have to pay endlessly. Funeral insurance, not to be confused with final expense insurance, is the rare insurance product designed to cover a cost that you absolutely will incur. We all die in the end. So, how does it work? Funeral insurance is sold through your funeral home. The amount of the insurance matches the cost of your funeral in today’s dollars. It can be paid in one payment and you are done. Or, you can pay over three to 20 years and be covered for the whole cost of your funeral while you pay. It’s easy to find out more. Just call the funeral home and ask to speak to someone in the advance planning department. You will want to set aside one to two hours for your meeting with the advance planner. You will have questions. Remember to ask how funeral insurance is different from final expense insurance. www.vittstermeranderson.com Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Where are you now? Three to six months after the death of a spouse

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Until Death Us Do Part: Losing a Spouse, Three to Six months after loss

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Mother died...how long do we keep her things?

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Preparing The Eulogy

Fri, 31 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

When I die, I just want you to...

Fri, 24 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Answering the question after the funeral:

Fri, 17 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Protection from scams

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Funerals are changing ... but grief is still the same

Fri, 03 Jan 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Happy New Year 2020

Fri, 27 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Christmas

Fri, 20 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

The gift of a note to your family

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Too little too late - a memorial gone wrong

Fri, 06 Dec 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Should I go to the funeral?

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

The holidays aren't the same this year

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Oh Boy here come the HOLIDAYS

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Saying thank-you to a Veteran

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 05:00:00 GMT

What can the funeral home do for a Veteran?

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 04:00:00 GMT

What is the Day of the Dead?

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Vanished without a trace

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

What to look for when you are buying final expense insurance

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Remembering a rabid football fan

Fri, 04 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Dad died. What do I do with the pills?

Fri, 27 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Cheap cremations

Fri, 20 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Where did summer go?

Fri, 13 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

What do you do with cremated remains?

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Cheap funerals

Sun, 01 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Flowers and Funerals

Fri, 23 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

It's not really a funeral plan if it's not at the funeral home

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

What to expect when you expect to be cremated

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

How should I prepare for my funeral preplanning meeting?

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Cremation or burial ... is that the question?

Fri, 26 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Celebrating Grads and Grands

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Preplanning Your Funeral in your 60's

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Honoring Military Service

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 04:00:00 GMT

The 4th of July ... Birthday of Our Great Nation

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Grief is Individual

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Father's Day

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Let’s all give a big shout out for all the fathers! Boy, have they ever stepped up to the plate and embraced the changing role of fatherhood. Lots of those who are young dads today were raised by a very different kind of dad. Their dads may have never changed a poopy diaper or traveled alone with an infant. But times have changed. Now, dads are all in. You see them on planes toting a little one in a carrier on their chest, no mom in sight, so you just know they will be changing that diaper. We have stay at home dads, dads who cook meals inside the house as well as on the grill, and dads who know where the kids’ PJs are stored. Lots of big changes in one generation. That’s not to short-change the granddads. The generation that spawned those super adapters. They are now grandfathers and were grand fathers. A generation ago lots of dads supported the family all by themselves. They also coached, were scout masters, mowed their own lawn (with a push mower) and made pancakes on Sunday mornings. These same guys are now the grandpas who are teaching their grandchildren to fish and holding the hand of a princess in a tutu as they wander the zoo. Kudos to the Dad’s! It’s their day! Today is the day to appreciate your dad and to say thank you. You won’t have him forever, you know. Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Normandy's Hallowed Ground

Fri, 31 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Memorial Day

Fri, 24 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Cremation Society or Funeral Home

Fri, 17 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Mother's Day

Fri, 10 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Thinking about skipping the funeral? What would an Elephant do?

Fri, 03 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Spring: A Fresh Optimistic Start

Fri, 26 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Death and Taxes

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Finding YOUR Joy

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Do I really need to attend the funeral?

Fri, 05 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Our dog died and my family wants to get a new one. Why?

Fri, 29 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Plan It...All the Way Out

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Moving After a Spouse Dies?

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Preserving the Family Relationship While Planning a Funeral

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Why Plan Your Funeral in Advance?

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Where Should I Send My Condolences?

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Get Your Family Involved in Funeral Planning

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Who Should Record My Funeral Wishes?

Sat, 09 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

When Death is Sudden and Unexpected

Sat, 02 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Who Will Take Care of My Funeral Plans?

Sun, 27 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Email to a Funeral Director

Sat, 19 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

To Plan or Not to Plan Your Funeral in Advance

Sat, 12 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

When Your Parent Loses Their Spouse

Sun, 06 Jan 2019 05:00:00 GMT

Enjoyable New Year's Resolutions

Sat, 29 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

The Loneliness in Losing a Life Partner

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Accepting an Invitation

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Previous blog posts have acknowledged how hard it is to deal with special occasions (e.g. holidays, birthdays) when you’ve recently lost the one you love. So, what do you do when you receive an invitation for that special occasion that you don’t feel like accepting? Maybe you are afraid you’ll be a wet blanket, or you aren’t eager to do something new and different because you really just want things as they were. That’s understandable but perhaps turning down the invitation isn’t really in your best interest. Before you say “no” to an invitation too quickly, give yourself a few minutes to think about it. Take that time to consider your alternatives. What will you do if you don’t accept it? Is there something you would prefer to do? Think about it, do you really want to be alone on that special day? It is important to acknowledge that the day won’t be the same. Acknowledge your loss. A woman who recently lost her husband goes to the cemetery for a little chat on those special days. She tells her husband how it’s hard for her and that she misses him. Then she tells him how she is going to spend the day. It is difficult to do something different on those special occasions. Your first few efforts may even fall short. Eventually, perhaps even sooner than you expect, you will find your joy in those occasions again. Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

A Year of Firsts

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

The Cranberry Sauce is for Dad

Fri, 23 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

People often say that one of the hardest things about that first year, the year after your loved one died, is that no one uses their name or talks about them. The hole in your heart begins to feel deeper and wider because talking about them seems forbidden. And as the holidays approach, the quietness can feel even more painful. So, why not take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and find a way to bring your loved one to your holiday gathering in a light but meaningful way. A good example of keeping your loved one in your holiday gathering is the family that always includes that jiggly cranberry sauce straight from the can on their table. There it is - just as it comes from the can - indentations, ridges, and all. Every year it’s there for dad. Every year it is ceremoniously placed on the table accompanied by a few words about how important it was to dad’s enjoyment of the holiday. Every year it brings lots of smiles and stories about dad. If you have lost someone dear, and you miss them more at the holidays, consider opening the conversation, using their name, and talking about them in a positive way. Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

The First Thanksgiving Without the One You Love

Tue, 20 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Make Family the Foundation for Funeral Planning

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Thank You for Your Service

Sat, 10 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Talking with a Veteran

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 04:00:00 GMT

How to Thank a Veteran

Sat, 27 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Funerals are for Saints and Sinners

Sat, 20 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

The History of Veterans Day

Sat, 13 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Control Funeral Costs by Planning Ahead

Sat, 06 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Food Provides Comfort

Sat, 29 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

How to Dress for a Funeral

Sat, 22 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING AT A FUNERAL

Sat, 15 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

WHAT TO EXPECT AT A FUNERAL

Sat, 08 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

WHAT DO FUNERAL DIRECTORS DO?

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT